Want to Remember
by MarthaD
Summary: Victoria changes Bella to keep her as the daughter she always wanted. Bella now belives her name is Persephone and trys to remember her past life. She only remembers her lullaby. Will everthing change when she meets Edward and the Cullens again?
1. Chapter 1

***DISCLAIMER*-I DON'T OWN ANTHING! ALL RIGHTS TO STEPHANIE MEYER. (SHE ROCKS!=D)**

Who am I? I had no clue.

I don't know who I am. It is a constant thought on my mind. My family does not know much abut me. I just

know I came from Forks, Washington. That's where I was found and turned to what I am now. What my

family is, what we are.

Vampires.

My mother Victoria found me in pain and changed me. That's all she told me about the time I was changed. I could tell she was telling me about what I was for my own sake. I always look up to her and look up to her as my mother figure, we all do. But to me she really isn't a mother figure, I really see her as my mother. My sisters and brothers remember more about there lives than I do. Except for Ellamyese.

She doesn't remember a thing about her life but it doesn't bother her at all. She is to happy with her life now for anything about her past life to bother her now if she could remember. She has a special power, its mostly about her emotions. Something like what I have. Her appearance changes with her mood. Her hair, her eyes, and her face. But when she is content her emotions rub off on us, but with out her power her happiness would still spread to us. She is…hard to describe. She is defiantly down right crazy. _That's_ definitely a good description for her. She is perky, not one of those annoying perky people you would imagine would be a blond, but she is always _happy. _And it spreads. You always want to be around her because she is very funny and when you're around her its makes you feel all tingly inside. That's part of her power.

My power is something like that. I really don't know exactly what my power is. Hard to describe of what we know about it so far.

I know things.

That's part of my power. I…sense…people's emotions sometimes or thoughts. I can hear things. Like a soft delicate whisper in the background I hear in my head that tells me, but I hardly hear it. I have to listen real hard. I laugh at my power because it makes me sound like a crazy person. When I first told my family about the whisper, they said I was schizophrenic. I thought it sounded so crazy I laughed. My power was schizophrenia? Wow, shocker. I didn't think of it as such a great power, compared to what I herd of other people like us who have special gifts too. But my family thinks its something special. Since we don't know much about it. I also influence my surroundings by my emotions somehow, I think. Kind of like Ellaynese. And that's all we know.

Ryan's power is not so great they say but I sure think so. He move things. His past wasn't a good one, he doesn't talk about it. His quite quiet like I am. Its easy to talk about things to him, he's a good listener. He is like a brother to me but at the same time acts like a father. We have lots in conmen and good friends. At least that's what I think, I like being around him but he prefers to be alone at times. I do to.

We are all odd balls to each other. But for some reason they see me as the weirdest.

And then there's Alexis and her husband Jayelren. There probably the most normal of our group. Alexisandrasis is very smart and beautiful. She is the smartest of us all, loves to learn new things. (And she's a blond! ) she is also probably the most beautiful of us. And her husbands equally handsome. He carries the most muscles and the most humor next to Ellaynese. He mostly likes to tease and pull pranks. He also likes extreme vampire sports. He used to like normal human sports, figures, but after becoming a vampire, they didn't appeal or entertain him much anymore.

As for my personality and interest, I'm much like Ryan. Quiet, keeps to myself, likes to be alone, reads, bla bla bla. My favorite past time turns out to be wondering who I am and daydreaming of the endless possibilities of what my life could have been like. All I know was my life is I was about 17 when I changed and was from Forks, Washington. And for once we well be moving to my town for the first time. I am very excited.

I've been trying to research about my life for the past 18 years of my twenty year life. The rest of my family is pretty young too. They haven't been vampires long. Most of us not even a century. Victoria is the oldest and I'm the youngest.

It was 6:00am in the morning and I was playing on my piano. I was playing the same melody I remembered from my human life. I don't know the name or who wrote it but I repeat it again and again, hours at a time. I sounds so familiar and soothing but at times it hurts to hear and I don't know why. It brings a lot of emotions to me. Music is one of my only passions, some songs are familiar and remind me of something but I don't know remember of what or why. Some bring me emotions. It was 8:00 when Ellaynese awoke me from my trance. I was playing my melody, my only wonderful memory from what was my life when she alerted me it was time for our first day of school at forks high school. Most likely the high school I went to in my life, most likely because it was the only high school in Forks.

I looked up at her about to answer to her reminder that it was nearly time in excitement when I got a feeling that hinted something bad. At the side of my excitement, I felt a warning.

My family had just got back from hunting since we where not yet use to resisting human blood but we did well resisting. It didn't bother us to be around them. As long as we held our breath when we where close. I resisted human and animal blood altogether. I couldn't stand the thought of drinking blood or hurting animals or any living creature, it disgusted me. So I put it of altogether.

We got into our sleek black sporty Ferrari. Before I got in I felt that warning or sense again of something. I hesitated as I got in. On the way my excitement was flowing like electricity in a wire about to be cut and set flares of flames. But at the side a fear of a warning hinted something. And I feared it be something bad. Jay talked about the car complimenting its speed but at the same time complaining it wasn't fast _enough_. Him and Alexis making plans to fix that, and Ellaynese was ecstatic on completing decorating the décor of our new house.

I thought back at to when we where house hunting in the area when we saw that big 3-story house that was part glass. I remember the amazement I felt as we looked around at it. I was in awe as we viewed it. And I still starring as we left it. Till know I thought maybe the house was familiar to me that might be why I was so surprised by it.

As we pulled up to the school, I got out not letting any fear make me hesitate. I looked around in curiosity. I felt my family's stares after a moment. They where curiously eyeing there surroundings but more curious waiting for my reaction. I suddenly felt disappointment that the school had no familiarity to me. But that sense of warring was hitting me harder.

"Ellaynese do you sense that?" I asked curious if her power didn't sense something like when she sensed something in one of us and suddenly felt like being near us. That was another detail to her power. Then suddenly I saw Jay and Alexis sniffing the air while Ryan hissed. And Alexis and Jay joining him after a good whiff.

"We're not alone." Ryan said in part growl.

"Alone?" asked Ellaynese.

"As in _we're_ _not_ the _only_ 'ones.' " Jay explained.

"We have company." Said Alexis she looked towards the direction of what there words were meaning to.

"No. we are there company." Ryan stated. I followed there stairs.

There faces hit me hard, I couldn't turn away, but neither could my family. They were climbing out of there car already turning our way as expecting us. The first I saw where two females and a male. The first female had long blond curly hair like Ellaynese but thicker and more elegant, she was beautiful like every other vampire. I wasn't sure who was prettier, her or Alexisandrasis. Alexsandrasis looked younger, more of a girl then the other blond vampire who seemed older, mature. The second female was also very beautiful with short dark hair. She was short and petite. She looked pixie like and fragile but so gracious and graceful. She would make a ballerina weep in tears and make a graceful swan look like a clumsy toddler. And the male had many muscles that were very noticeable he was tall and strong. They were all well dressed. I couldn't see them all because the people and cars passing. But I wouldn't forget there faces during the day.

"Common, lets go." Ryan ordered. But the others were having trouble looking away from the _others_.

They began to walk away but I was still starring at the _other family. having more trouble tearing my eyes_ away than the rest of my family was having.

I couldn't stop thinking of the family of vampires, the glimpses of there faces repeated themselves in my head. I grew eager to see them again in lunch, all of them. Maybe we would speak to them. In my next class I had Ellaynese. As we headed to our class I felt hunger. That was not good. If I could not control my thirst I would have to leave early. I regretted not going hunting with the rest of my family earlier this morning. Instead I put it of like usual.

I felt someone waiting for us in our next class. As we walked into our next class together I looked directly towards the students knowing my feeling would be coming from the crowd of students. I looked directly at the back and spotted the short fragile pixie like girl, but we knew better what she was. She sat spaced out from the rest of the students, she seemed board or alone. She seemed to be the only one of her family in the class, but know she wouldn't be the only of her _kind_ in this class any longer.

Ellaynese introduced us to the teacher, but I stayed starring at the pixie girl. She looked up our way and her mouth dropped and she almost latterly jumped out of her chair if she hadn't restrained herself. At that first movement I had to hold back a growl that was building in my chest because I thought she wanted to attack. But a bright grin appeared on her face. She was glowing in happiness and her eyes ere literally popping out of her head. I swear I her squeal. I wondered if anyone else herd her outburst, but it calmed me.

I felt a feeling of shyness come over me and turned to Ellaynese. The teacher assigned us to few available backseats near the beautiful graceful pixie. I followed behind Ellaynese as she lead towards the back kind of protected. I noticed as her face changed with her mood like it always did and wondered if the humans might notice. Her eyes turned darker along with her hair as her emotion turned protective at the unknown other vampire. We sat in the two seats in front of the other vampire. The graceful pixie smiled at us brightly, especially at me. That calmed Ellaynese, she let go of my hand, which I didn't notice she was even holding for support as we approached the vampire.

Ellaynese looked back at the vampire smiling now, happy to know she meant no harm. I didn't look back, I faced forward shyly.

The girl stretched out her hand. "Hello! I'm Alice!" _Alice. _I thought.

"Hi! I'm Ellaynese!" Ellaynese took her hand eagerly. "This is my sister…" Before my sister could finish, the other vampire girl, -Alice- was speaking.

"Bella! Bella!" I wasn't sure, but I had a felling she was talking to me. I looked at Ellaynese who was still turned to the vampire-um, Alice, but starring at me in confusion. I turned slightly and looked at _Alice_. Before I could turn all the way, she was talking so fast, not even a vampire could understand. She was speaking a bit to loud, and her voice was rising as her eagerness grew. All I caught was vampire, how, missed, and the name Bella again and again. She almost jumped out her seat like she wanted to hug me. I watched her arms just incase she tried. When she finally finished, I looked at Ellaynese. She was starring at me as for an answer. I decided to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Persephone Madison." I stretched out my hand slowly, less eager then her and my sister. "Nice to meet you." I smiled shyly and looked up at her into her eyes, to see if I could sense anything about this vampire or the family.

Her face fell, and her smile slowly faded. She seemed disappointed and confused. I threw a quick glance at Ellaynese. She starred at her confused.

"Um, ugh." I wasn't sure how to continue

"Bella? … Persephone?…I don't…?" She stated obviously confused. Then the teacher interrupted. And warned us to pay attention. We turned around and faced forward. _Bella?_

Through class my thirst grew stronger and stronger. I soon started to panic. I glanced at Ellaynese wondering if to tell her, I had to go. I could feel someone starring at me. I knew it was _Alice._ I was curious about the family and wanted badly to stay the day and watch them or see them at lunch and looked forward to see if they had them for any other classes but I didn't want to put the _non_-vampires around me in danger. So I whispered to Ellaynese sensing _Alice_ was listening.

"I'm leaving after class." I stated.

"Why?" Ellaynese asked.

"Your leaving Bella? Why?" _Alice _asked a bit to loudly. The teacher glanced our way for a moment.

Ellaynese looked over towards _Alice,_ judging. I herd a whisper and listened closely. I knew Ellaynese was becoming skeptical of _Alice. _She was wondering if she was becoming to friendly or really was this eyes changed color as her emotions changed.

"I have to go hunting."

"_Your going hunting! Bella?"_ Alice outburst was surprising.

"Be quiet back there. Pay attention" Warned the teacher as he looked back at us and his eyes tightened.

"Bella-" Alice started, leaning forward. Not even listening to the teacher, still talking a bit to loud.

"Persephone." Ellaynese corrected.

"My sister's name is Persephone." She informed her.

Alice starred at Ellaynese in awe. Then the bell rang and I got up quickly to leave. Alice reached out to me in alert. "Wait Bella!" Ellaynese and me looked at her in surprise.

I starred at her a moment longer and left.

_Alice. _What was it about that name? I don't think it sounded familiar. Why did she keep calling me Bella?

_Bella? _

I thought as I hunted. Who where those other people? Her family. I tried and guessed at there names. I closed my eyes and remembered the other two faces I got glimpses at. I listened to whatever I could her. At first nothing. Then I herd the faint whisper speak as I focused on the blond vampire.

"R…"

Then I thought of the muscular tall one. I saw a bright smile and herd a laugh in the faint whisper in my head.

"Mmmm." I said thoughtfully. I didn't know what that meant. I hadn't seen them smile. I opened my eyes giving up and looked around at the sky, wondering what time it was. I started home determining it was probably past school hours.

I slipped in through my balcony doors not wanting to see my family, I wanted to be alone. I didn't feel like facing them and being asked why I left early to hunt and hear them talk about the other vampires. They were not offended when I came into the house through the backdoors or sometimes my own window, they were used to it. They knew I liked to be alone and they didn't really bother me much when I was in my room wanting to be alone. So I was surprised when I sensed they wanted me and I herd the faint whisper in my head warning me, it sounded eager but scared. Soon after sensing this I herd them call me from the living room.

I cautiously walked out of my room and headed out the hall and into the living room. There on the love seat couch sat Jayelren and Alexisandrasis with hand in hand. They were starring in at our dining room that was connected to our living room, it was only a small wall that divided half of the dining room from our view. I saw my mother standing at the head of the long table with John Ryan on her left and Ellaynese on her right. But I couldn't see who they where facing.

I hesitated before I walked into the dining room, I looked to Alexsandrasis and Jayelren for answers or a sense. They looked at me there eyes big in worry. "Were in here Persephone. Come in." hearing my mothers voice eased my worry's.

"What's going on?" I asked Alexsandrasis. She smiled halfheartedly with mocking in her eyes but worry still hid in them hidden.

"We have company." She said at ease and politely as she could pass. But she was tensed. I didn't need my special senses to tell me that.

As I walked into the room a wave of tenseness over whelmed me. I hesitated and walked slowly and cautiously into the room towards my mother she turned to me and her welcoming smile gave me confidence. I walked straight towards her and hugged her. From the corner of my eye I could see strange unfamiliar figures sitting on the other side of the dining tables but I didn't dare look up towards them.

" How was your hunt?" She asked pleasantly. My smile brightened.

"Fine, mother. How are you?" I hadn't seen her all day. I could see John Ryan with his arms crossed protectively and his eyes a bit tight looking up at me. Him and Ellaynese watched me as I walked in a bit guarding. I shifted my sight to Ellaynese trying again to avoid seeing the other vampire family. Ellaynese was smiling up at me, her arms where now crossed over her chest as well protectively. She was happy but tensed at the surprise visit. I felt someone starring at me intensely. Someone was going a bit crazy in thought. I herd the whisper going crazy ever then before. It was loud telling me to much I couldn't understand. Yelling but it couldn't yell loud enough since it was only a whisper that told me things. And it couldn't tell me all it wanted all at once. This tensed me much. I stood there beside my mother quietly with both hands together, facing our company but not really looking at them.

" We have visitors, the Cullen's decided to visit us." John Ryan stated smiling. I looked at him smiling happy to have somewhere else to look.

"How nice."

"Hello Bella!" A very familiar perky voice yelled in glee. I looked directly at her trying not to look at all of them. I felt kind of shy. She jumped out of her chair.

"Alice!" A male I hadn't seen before was sitting next to her looked up at her disapproving of her behavior. But that didn't stop her. She ran around the table and hugged me almost tackling me. I flinched at her gesture. What was she doing? I felt my mouth drop in shock and a few gasps around the room. My family faces where confused and tensed at the gesture.

"Alice, please." A male voice said. I tried to break free from her but she held on tight.

"Its ok." I said reassuring everyone. She was snuggling her head into me her eyes closed then opening to look up at me with big eyes and a huge grin. I put my hands on her tangled arms around me. Trying to slightly push her off.

"Friendly, isn't she?" I asked, finally looking at our visitors for the first time. They faces where on us, confused and shocked. Tense but not afraid. No, they weren't afraid of us. I hope that meant there was nothing of us to fear of them, of an attack over territory. I noticed there gold eyes. They were animal eaters like us. I found the face of the eyes that starred intensely at me. I felt relief when I saw him, like for the first time in a long time I could breathe. And I didn't know why this was, it overwhelmed me. He was handsome. And I mean _handsome_, very handsome. There was something that hit me when I saw there faces, especially his. I had a hard time turning away from him. And I didn't know why.

"I told you! I told you!" Alice yelled loudly. "I told you it was Bella! See Edward!" _Edward._

"Who's Bella?" Alexsandrasis asked.

"I don't know. She keeps calling her that." Ellaynese answered her, a bit confused. I looked at John Ryan for some help. Alice still had her arms plied around me.

"John Ryan?" he winced, noticing I used his whole first name. he didn't like that. But I always seemed to call him people by there whole names then there nicknames. Ryan preferred John but we still called him Ryan.

He got up and reached out to me hesitating not sure what to do, how to save me.

"Let go of her Alice." One of the vampires ordered.

She finally let go after another long moment. "We're sorry." One of them apologized.

John Ryan quickly put his arm around me protectively, he pulled me close to his side. I leaned my head on his shoulder excepting his comfort. Then there was a low hiss come from the other side of the dining table. I looked to see who it came from. It was the boy who was starring intensely at me earlier, he was furious. John Ryan pushed me behind him and hissed at the other vampire. My family quickly joined him, this is what they where waiting for, a warning of danger from the other family. Some members of the other family quickly joined too. I hissed along with my family realizing a danger, that might have been why my whisper in my head went haywire earlier.

The moment I hissed the other vampire who starred at me stopped suddenly. Then I stopped, and my family drew back along with me. They where listening to what I did, probably wanting to go along with what my senses warned me. They were following my league, except for John Ryan who was still hissing towards the handsome male. The other family stopped too.

"I'm sorry. My family gets protective of each other." Spoke the oldest one of there males. He sat in the middle of them. He acted as the leader.

"Be calm" I told John Ryan and my family took my advise thinking I spoke to them all.

"There not a danger." I reassured them all.

"Are you sure?" John Ryan asked not tearing his eyes from the other vampire. He had not yet pulled back his teeth, even though everyone else had.

"I think so." I said after a moment of listening to the whisper. It was faint and calm but still eager and excited.

"I'm sorry," the leader of the other family of vampires, the Cullens, reassured. "I see there is a lot to be explained."

"Yes there is." My mother answered.

"We all haven't been introduced." Ellaynese stated quietly gesturing towards me.

"Persephone," she poke to me, "this is the Cullens. "They where the other family of vampires in Forks we saw this morning." She was about to tell me there names when Alice cut her off.

"Bella already knows us." Alice interrupted." Tell us Bella how this happened." she gestured with one hand towards me.

"How what happened?" I asked starring at her dumbfounded.

"Why do they keep calling you Persephone?" The muscular one asked.

"That's my name." I said in awe.

"Bella?" a beautiful voice asked. I looked to see it was the handsome vampire. "Is that really you?" his voice broke a little.

"Of course its her! Cant you tell?" Alice said with glee and a big grin.

"Who's Bella?" I asked trying to get some answers.

"Victoria would you mind explaining?" the leader asked.

"Yes please explain" the handsome one asked a bit icily.

"Yeah! Someone explain what the hecks going on!" The muscular one asked irritated.

"Yes, explain why you hissed!" Said John Ryan.

"Everyone please let me talk to our visitors alone." My mom said. She decided to take charge and I respected that.

"I'll stay here." Said Jayelren. He was trying to be the protector of the family. Alexsandrasis looked up at him concerned holding on to his arm.

"I'll stay, too then." She said. I was a bit worried but I defiantly wasn't gonna stay here unless things got dangerous for my family.

"And I'll stay where ever Bella goes." John Ryan said rapping his arm around my waist a bit to protectively. Something a _mate_ would do for another mate. I herd a growl come from _him_ again. I glanced at him and John Ryan threw a scowl at him and tightened his hold on me. I herd a growl rumble in his chest.

I gave my mother reassuring look, letting her know I would be where she needed me. I would come right back if things got bad. She nodded at me in return smiling, letting me know she understood. I smiled back.

I began to leave the room when _he_ ran towards me. "Wait, Bella." As he approached John Ryan got defensive again and began to hiss and growl at him not liking him being closer to me. But _he _did not growl or hiss or even look at John Ryan. He stared at me intensely again holding my eyes in his. These made John Ryan more mad and growl and hiss even louder.

"Stay here Edward." The name stung, I winced at the name like when I winced when I saw him and herd the name earlier. My mother had spoken. "You said you wanted an explanation and I would be happy to explain what I can." He stared at me intensely

"Let her go in peace." My mother said. I didn't know what was going on. Or why he stared at me, but it didn't bother me. He held my eyes for a moment longer and reluctantly turned to my mother slowly. He threw her an ugly scowl and glanced at her.

John Ryan put his hand on my back and nudged me, guiding me forward. I stared at him for a moment longer then turned away and began to walk away. It looked like it hurt him to see me leave. I suddenly felt _guilty. _

_Ellaynese, Alexisandrasis, and Jayelren stood in a row watching me as I left. Ellaynese was somewhat happy for me but starred at me confused. She followed behind me and John Ryan._

_I didn't understand the reason she was happy for me but she didn't show it, I just sensed it._

"_Do you want to go outside?" John Ryan asked._

"_Okay." I said quietly and calmly monotone._

_We walked outside and I sat on the grass. They sat with me, Ellaynese eyes full of questions aimed at me. I suddenly realized I wanted to be alone._

"_I think ill go to my room for a while." Ryan was leaning back relaxed._

"_Okay." He said._

_I could tell he wanted to talk to me but wasn't sure how to and so did Ellaynese. She had many questions I just didn't have answers too. My voice told me John Ryan wanted to explain why he acted like he did earlier. To tell me a secret._


	2. Chapter 2

I sat down on my piano bench and began to play. I played my melody for what felt like hours but that was normal for me. I decided it was probably already late so I laid down on my bed and began to _dream_.

Vampires cannot sleep or dream but I still tried to keep this human trait. Around night hours, I would lay down close my eyes and turn my daydreams into night dreams. The good thing about this is you could create and control your dreams. You never had nightmares. But I did have one nightmare.

I did not know who I was.

I focused carefully on details. I mostly tried to dream about my past life, trying to remember and dream about the possibilities of my life and the ones I must have loved. But after a while, my tries fail. I can't remember and it scares me. I do not know if any of the possibilities I thought of our true and I might never know. I think that scares me the most.

Also, a new dream lingered in my thoughts now, it was more of a mystery. _Edward. _His face appeared in my head while I tried to focus on my usual dreams. Somehow, my mind always wondered back to him and the rest of his family. Why they called me Bella and there reactions. It was all a mystery and it bothered me now that I couldn't simply solve it. And it bothered me more that when I saw there faces and herd their names I felt something but I couldn't figure out what. And the whisper would go haywire in my head trying to scream at me to many things at a time. I didn't understand, it never did that before, it gave me a headache because it wouldn't go away once it started.

Just then I herd a slight knock on my door. I hardly heard it-I was to deep in my day dreams that I turned to _night dreams_ and my thought, that one thought, in the back of my head that lingered and turned into my nightmare-and I got up to answer it a minute late.

My body tensed. Then I froze.

"Hello.'' He said after a long pause. There stood Edward leaning against the door frame casually with his hands in his pockets. Then straightening up when he spoke, only to stare at me intensely again.

I stayed quiet.

"May I speak to you?"

I stood there like a fool starring at him. But he didn't seem to mind, he starred right back, his eyes looked tortured.

"Okay." I said as I moved to the side as I let him in. He hardly took his eyes of me as he entered.

He looked at my piano for a second then turned back to me and watched me. I gestured towards the cushioned couch offering him a seat. And I sat on my bed. I waited for him to speak. Instead he watched me.

"Your name is Persephone, correct?" I flinched a little at the sound of his voice.

The whisper went crazy once again in my mind at the sound. I whished I could tell it to shut up for the first time ever. It was ruining my silent enjoyment of his beautiful voice. His voice did sound disturbed but still oh so beautiful.

He spoke low and restrained. His voice sounded longly tired and sad. He did sound tortured and it made me feel…awful. Like I felt his pane. _I _felt tortured. How eerie.

"Correct" I answered, looking away trying to pull my gaze away from him to find my voice again so I could answer him.

"And…you don't remember much about your past life? Do you?"

I now wondered what they talked about when we had left. I blocked everything out. I know wished I had paid more attention.

I felt a longing pain as he asked that question.

"No." I answered simply but my voice no longer sounded calm but saddened. I waited and he starred.

"Bella-" I herd the pain in his voice. It heavily hung on the name. "Persephone," he corrected. "how much do you remember?"

I looked away momentarily. "Nothing." Why did have to keep asking? It just rubbed it in and bringed back my nightmare.

My answer seemed to pain him though. Before he could tear away his gaze I saw a quick flash of anger in his eyes.

"Do you have any clues who's fault that is?" He said looking away then turned back to me again expecting an answer. His question surprised me. I was confused. I wasn't sure what he was asking. The voice went haywire yelling at me hard. I could almost hear it speaking at a normal tone. It didn't want to be ignored. But I didn't think about the name it screamed at me.

"No." I answered but it sounded more like a question I was asking myself.

"How much has _Victoria_ told you about when she changed you?" I gasped at the name. It was the same name my voice was screaming at me. I went into panic. He sneered at her name which offended me but the whisper told me I shouldn't be offended at anything about Victoria. _Why? _I thought_. _The voice simply answered _distrust_.

"She hasn't told me much about the time she changed me to protect me from the pain that it caused me." I said defensively. I defended my mother. But the voice was telling me not to trust everything she has said in the past. And what Edward seemed to be implying was distrust .

"What has she told you about _her_ past life?"

I stood up, now completely in panic.

"Why does it matter?" I demanded.

He looked up at me a bit shocked.

"She hasn't been very truthful with you has she?" He said angered and restrained.

"What are you saying?" I asked upset.

"Bella" he said as he stood. His voice sound indescribable. Still wonderfully beautiful but completely sad it was scary. It almost sounded relieved but yet tortured.

"Who's Bella?" I asked horrified because I think I already new the answer as he placed his hand on my cheek gently. His touch was like lighting and thunder being sent through my body. My face held chagrin as its only expression.

_He knew!_

He knew more about my life than _I _did.

"What do you know?" He simply stroked my cheek gently and starred into my eyes.

I quickly pushed away his hand.

"_Tell me_!" I yelled.

"_Bella_" He spoke. "Your true name is _Bella."_

"Victoria lied to you! She knows more and _lies_ more then you think."

Complete chagrin.

"Your crazy!" I yelled as I stepped away.

"Bella, she changed you to keep you not because she was saving you from death. She was planning to kill you _herself_!" The whisper was quite. It was now letting him tell me the truth nnow.

I ran out the room.

"What the h***s going on?" I said to myself as I walked down the hallway almost yelling. I saw my mother in the living room. If she was really my mother anymore. She paced then stood still, her arm wrapped around her and the other on her chin thoughtfully, she starred down worried.

I repeated myself, yelling at her for the first time. She turned and looked at me her eyes saddened. She opened her arms to me. "Persephone."

I flinched away from her. I herd the whisper telling me she was not dangerous but she has lied.

"Get away from her." I herd Edward yell as he came out of sight and stood between me and Victoria. I couldn't see her as my mother anymore.

"Start explaining." I said calmly demanded.

She scowled at Edward. " I wont let you take another one I love. You already took one."

He growled. "What about what you took?" He hissed at her. "What you took from her. You didn't giver her a choice."

I saw John Ryan's face appear from the backdoors. He glared at Edward the moment he walked in. I suddenly felt hurt. I wondered. What have they kept from me? Have they keep something from me too?

"What did you know abut this?" I yelled at him.

"Persephone." he said sounding worried. I rapped my arms around me protectively. If I was human Id be crying my eyes out by now.

He glared at Edward. "What did you do to her?"

"Ask Victoria, she hasn't been very truthful." Edward said glaring at her. Victoria looked at him hurt. I felt Edwards arm wrap around my waist protectively.

I herd a growl from across the room. I looked and saw it came from John Ryan.

"Get your hand off of her!"

Edwards arm tightened.

"Persephone please understand." Victoria spoke stepping closer, her eyes pleading. My eyes tightened not knowing what to trust anymore. "I love you very much-"

"If you loved her you would have given her a choice!" Edward yelled.

"Explain." I demanded. "Someone just tell me everything!"

"Your real name is Isabella Marie Swan." my eyes opened wide as I first herd my real name. Edward continued.

"You once lived in Forks Washington, when your parents divorced you moved to Phoenix, Arizona with your mother. When your mother remarried, you moved back to Forks, Washington with your father." His voice softened. "That's where you met me and my family." He momentarily paused. "We fell in love but my I put you in danger because what I was. Victoria's mate wanted to kill you but we saved you." Victoria cringed at the mention of her mate. He paused again. "She wanted to kill you, to avenge her mates murder. A mate for a mate. But she decided to keep you as her daughter she never got to have, before she killed you."

"I believe your leaving out some details." Victoria interrupted. I now noticed my whole family was here and so was the Cullen's in our living room. My family was shocked walking into the argument. Details about my past life thrown right in front of me. They weren't such pleasant things. "Did you tell her how you left her? The pain you left her with had her begging me to kill her and take her out of her misery! She wanted death so bad I was surprised she hadn't already killed herself!"

Edward growled at her.

"Yes I take credit for my mistakes! And I planed to fix them but how could I when I came back and she wasn't there! They declared her dead!"

"Its not my fault you left her in the first place!" Victoria sneered.

"I was trying to protect her!"

I felt like I had enough of the truth. But I wanted badly to know more about my life, but I was scared to know more.

"Stop!" I yelled. I closed my eyes. Their was a lot to think about but I didn't feel like thinking about it now. Ellaynese came towards me to help. She didn't need her senses to tell her I was in distress, it was obvious.

Edward over reacted and hissed at her as she came close. He was becoming over protective.

"Get away from her, she isn't your mate!" John Ryan growled restrained.

"She isn't yours either!" Edward retorted.

I broke away from the room and headed to my own. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way Persephone, I do love very much. You are my daughter." I herd my mother- I herd Victoria say.

As I stood in my room alone, I wondered if I should just leave. Stay some where else. I wouldn't no where to stay. I guess I would stay in the woods for all I cared, just to get away from here for now. I wanted more answers though, but I didn't want to deal with all the drama.

I asked for the story of my life before I was changed and what I got was the story of betrayal of my mother.

For once I didn't play my melody. I knew it might not have a pleasant story to it anymore. Although I still wanted to play it for comfort, I didn't know the story behind it. Like my mother, who had once planned to kill me, I didn't know _that _story till today.

I herd a light knock on the door just then. I looked at the clock. A few hours had passed. I wasn't sure if I felt like talking to anyone, I felt every ones worries in the other room. I didn't know who it was. The voice whispered _John Ryan_.

"Come in."

"Persephone, I'm sorry if I did anything to offend you."

"Just tell me, did you anything about this? Anything about my past you didn't tell me?"

"I knew about her dead mate and her trying to avenge his death. I knew it had something to do with you. She told me you were in a horrible accident and she wanted to drink your blood but instead she kept you because she saw something in you. I did have suspicions about Victoria though."

"Why didn't you tell me anything about what you knew or suspected. I didn't think Victoria was evil," he sat down beside me, "and I still don't. And she told me she would tell you about it when she was ready and didn't think you would hate her for almost killing you. She really does think of you as her daughter. At least that's what I think. You might know better with your senses."

I stayed quiet. I knew he came in here to talk to me about something. And that was about half.

"I forgive you. I'm not mad at you." At least I wasn't mad as much but I didn't want to disappoint him that I was still furious tat him and hat nobody told me anything about what they knew.

"Thank you. And I am very sorry, Persephone."

"Don't call me Persephone." I stated.

He paused for a moment. "Do you prefer Bella instead?" He asked before he continued. I didn't even now _what_ I wanted to be called.

"I guess so."

"_Bella_," he corrected, I don't ever want to upset you." I wanted to say _then why didn't you tell me Victoria almost killed me and there might be a reason why you suspected?_ But starting an argument wouldn't help.

I sat silent. I waited for him to speak once more and leave. But he sat there beside me looking out the window.

He wasn't really looking out the window though. I knew there was more he wanted to say.

"Is there something more you wanted to talk about John Ryan?"

He hesitated. "No, why? Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"No, but I can sense there was something more you wanted to say."

He remained quiet.

"Remember how you said earlier, I might know better with my senses."

"Right. You do know better most if the time, since you can sense things."

"Yes so spit it out before _it _tells me later."

He sighed and waited a moment.

"Did you happen to take notice of my behavior earlier today? I was hoping to explain why I exactly acted the way I did."

I wasn't sure what he meant. Then I remembered the way he acted when the Cullen's first visited. He was more protective of me then anyone else. Like how a mate would react. Then how he reacted earlier when he saw Edward and how he reacted when Edward was to protective of me.

"I think you've noticed how I prefer your company more then anyone else's."

"Yes, I've realized and noticed that." _Just now_, I thought.

"Yeah."

"Or how you let me call you by what I please but correct everyone else when they call you by your middle name."

I always called John Ryan by both his names, he preferred just John because when they called him John Ryan r just Ryan it reminded him of his father and that's what everyone called his father. But our family still called him Ryan, they just got used to it. He still corrected them but he never corrected me.

John Ryan chuckled. "Yes, that's true."

I had just noticed how when he wanted to be alone he would let the person know politely he wanted to be alone. But when it was me he quickly put down his book or whatever he was doing to listen or talk. Sometimes I wouldn't bother him while he was reading but I would sit beside him and watch. Then later would interrupt and ask him about the book. Then we would get to discussions about the books we have read. He never talked much but with me we would get into deep discussions about anything and everything. We would go to the movies together and he spends time with me more then anyone else. I know ore about his past life he doesn't like to talk about then anyone else in our family.

"I never realized that till recently." John Ryan stated, his voice awoke me from my recalling.

"What?" I asked

"When the Cullen's hissed and there was a sign of danger, it upset me that their could be a possibility of you getting hurt. And then when that other male vampire showed a preference for you, it upset me and I felt jealous and protective of you. I never realized how I felt about you till recently."

I stayed quiet for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say.

"Oh."

I wasn't sure how I felt and didn't know what to answer. As I looked up at John Ryan's eyes starring down at me smiling, I felt a sudden urge to hug him and not let go. I hugged him not even thinking about it.

I did love him.

I wasn't sure if I loved him as strongly as he loved me. Or I only loved him as a brother or best friend. He leaned his head on the top of my head. We sat there for a while. I want sure what to say. Then finally he picked up his head.

"I'm going hunting, to be ready for school. Do you want to come?"

I felt that sick feeling when I thought about blood.

"No thank you."

He seemed disappointed. He stayed quite for a second. "Okay. Just don't put it of to long. Lets not make it a habit of skipping class." We both chuckled.

He walked towards my balcony "Goodbye Bella." He said before he jumped out.

Bella. Was that my new name for now on? Or was it still Persephone, the name I was use to, but the lie of a name my mother gave me. Did I still see her as a mother. I could now look up my real mother and father. Know who they really where now that I had my true name I could use to search. Maybe they could still be alive, just really old. I sat there for a long while thinking.

I herd a silent knock on the door. I wondered who it was. If it was Victoria, could I handle talking to her right now or felt like talking to anyone else right now?

I herd a silent familiar whisper speak at the back of my head. It spoke one name.

_Edward._

Here is surprise you might not have expected. I wanted to thank those who added my story to their favorites even though it was only the first chapter. This is only my first story. You made me feel special=) Thanks. A shout out to…

*_**Zarma***_

_***.x * You guys Rock!**_

_***Twilightaholic1122***_

And

_***jacksp518* **_whoadded me to story alert

Please Review. Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great!

Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	3. Chapter 3

I took a deep breath, calming myself and my jitters.

"Come in." My voice broke and I struggled to say the words out loud. Why was I so nervous and scared? There wasn't anything to fear, right?

He opened the door, I looked over to my piano bench close to me and I was about to gesture for him to take a seat there if he pleased but before I could he sat right beside me on the bed.

I was ok with that too.

"Are you alright?"

"Very happy." I answered smiling at him. And I wasn't just saying that. I was to excited to have him so close but I wasn't sure why. I thought about it and realized I hoped he would touch my cheek like he did the last time and send that feeling through me again. Like I had just been stroke by lighting and thunder going through my body. It was like a deep fog clouded my mind, a deep fog of happiness. I would have enjoyed so much more the last time if my voice hadn't been shouting at me what… _Edward_(happiness agian)… was trying to tell me that led up to the truth that changed my content view of my family.

Edward turned away seemeing upset by my answer. How odd.

Then I suddenly knew he had over herd my conversation with John Ryan. I sensed he didn't like it, he was upset by my answer because he belived I was very happy by the converstaion I just held with John Ryan.

Of course that's why he believed__I was happy! Who in there right mind would be happy after finding out there _mother_ lied to them and your family not telling you they knew? Ugh, I was still so very upset by that but I couldn't seem to find a trace of an unhappy thought when I looked at his face or definitely not when I looked into his eyes.

"I was wondering if you had any questions." He said turning back to look at my face.

He searched for something there.

He also wondered if it was to soon and still didn't feel like discussing about it.

But of course I had many questions! Just not about my mother and all of that drama.

I laughed at my sudden thought. "Not about the whole mama drama issue, but yes I have questions." I answered almost laughing. Haha, mama drama, that was a name for it, hehe.

He laughed looking away. I thought he laughed understanding my inside thought joke. But he was going back to a different time.

"You always did have many questions. Too many questions." His mind was drifting to another time.

"Exactly!" I said. He turned to me. "Tell me about that."

He starred at me thoughtfully. "Tell me about me."

I smiled eagerly. I would finally know some of my unknown questions. I was bit afraid to finfdsomething I didn't want to know though. John Ryan always told me, as I spoke about wanting to know about my past life, that humans have many… problems in life some that are unpleasant and some that last long in life. That maybe I would not want to know to much. I didn't know what he spoke off. But now I understood. There could be a lot of cold memories I might not want to know remember like John Ryan wishes he could forget his bad memories.

I brang back my focus to Edward instead of recalling John Ryan's sad memories.

He was still starring at me. He was planning I think.

"How about I make you a deal?"

My eyes tightened.

He obviously read a question in my eyes. He expected me to ask about what deal he had in mind. He wasn't quite right, that was only my second question.

His face was familiar to me. The expression he held, It seemed familiar, like this wasn't the first time I've seen him wear it. I tried to remember when he held that hint of something in his expression. It seemed diabolical, like he was up to something.

"You make a lot of deals don't you?" I wasn't sure what brought me to ask that. I wasn't even sure what it meant.

I was suddenly over joyed by the thought that hit me. Maybe I recalling something from my past life! About Edward, maybe about the relationship we had.

When I saw his face again I rembered what he said yesterday.

We had a different _kind_ of relationship then the one I thought in my head as friends.

We once had a romantic relationship and he made it obvious before he had something for me. He made it pretty darn obvious right now with the expression on his face. I thought back to my second question and suddenly wondered what _exactly_ he had in mind.

He had seemed surprised by my first question but amused. I ignored my first question now and asked another.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What did you have in mind, _exactly_?"

He forgot about whatever train of thought my first question led him on and he hesitated to tell me about the deal he had in mind.

"Well…"

"Yes?" I was now in fear and nervouse agaian.

"Now im beginning to wonder if my proposal would offend you."

"Don't hesitate to ask." I was to curious of what he was going to suggest in his deal.

"I wouldn't know if you are willing to,"

I wanted t know badly what he was offering. I listened to see if the silent whisper had anything to say. At first it didn't seem to be awake but as if I had called on to it, it spoke.

" But Ill just simplify the deal. Either way I'll just end up giving in to what you want in the end. If you don't want to take either deal because your not willing I probably wont be able to resist giving you whatever it is you want, deal or no deal."

"Please tell me the deals you have in mind anyways, I want to hear them. Like you said, either way you wont be able to resist giving in to what I want anyways. Im just very courios of what you deals you had in mind and what you would getout of it."

He thought it over a moment and decided to tell me. My voice told me he was a bit shy about what he wanted to ask me and if somehow it might offend me.

"Will my first deal in mind was I would tell you everything I could about your life and answer any questions you might have or come up with," I was liking this first deal so far "if …you would give me one kiss."

That hit me hard even though I suspected he might have wanted something like that.

"Then I thought you might not be willing to that so I would simplify the deal, so instead you could agree to be my friend and I promise to tell you everthing you want to know. But then I thought if you are not willing to that either I would just give in to giving you whatever you wanted and just telling you what ever you wanted to know, no strings attached."

I could feel he felt hurt if what if I wasn't even willing to be his friend. I wasn't sure how I felt about his first offer, it sent a thrill through me as I thought about it. And his second offer sounded nice. I wouldn't mind much to be his friend, I wanted to be his friend, I realized, I wanted to be close to him.

"Will I have many questions. I will be bothering you with a lot of questions that will be poping in my head as I ask you the many questions I already have in mind, so its only more then fair you should get something in return since I will be taking much of your time and probably will begin to annoy you." I said shly, informing him what he was getting himself into.

"I'm very willing to tell you anything you want and if you keep a presence around me it will be no bother at all but a pleasure to be around in _your_ presence."

"Thank you." I said quietly. He stared at me. I waited for him to continue, to state what he wanted in return. I wondered what my family was thinking, surley they could hear our conversation, but my voice informed me they were out hunting with the Cullens, getting to know each other.

"A kiss and friendship is all you want in return?" I asked.

He nodded. "Unless that makes you uncomfortable then never mind, either way I don't mind at all answering all your questions."

I stood up and walked towards my paino that leaned against the wall across from my bed. He grabbed a hold of my arm. I flashed my head towards a him in surprise. "Where are you going?" He said eagerly with big eyes.

"No where."I said surprised.

I walked over to my paino ang looked down at it. I wondered which question to ask first, because I was agreeing to his deal. Probably about my melody. I herd him get up and felt him behind me. I turned around and stood beside my piano. He was a foot away from me, watching me intensly agaian.

"Deal." I said simply.

I kept my thoughts on what to ask first and not on how he seemed to move closer. But I only tried, I didn't say that it worked. Back then I would have thought I'd be throwing questions at whoever had the answers to them, to my past life, by now, but I never thought a person would have such an effect on me that I would me nervous by his presence and intimidated by what effect he put on me.

"You are agreeing?" He asked as he stepped closer.

I starred up to his face.

"Of course." I answered calmly. As I silently stepped back.

" You don't have to. I am willing to tell you everything you want, you know." He stepped a bit closer.

I stepped back. I was already as far as I could go. I felt my back to the wall. I nodded.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he moved in closer over towering me. He smiled a beautiful smile. It clouded my head.

"Yes." I whispered, it was all I could get through to say. I was now lost in his eyes.

He leaned in his head towards me, closing whatever space there was left between us. I couldn't move, nor did I want to. He placed one hand on the wall beside me, not giving me any room to escape. I waited. His face came closer, I couldn't see anything around me anymore but his face, I closed my eyes. I felt his lips brush gently against mine then he placed his hand on my cheek. I was now eager. Then he finally pressed his lips against mine.

I felt the lightening shock go through me. Then after that I eagerly kissed him back. I placed my hands on his face. And his other hand gently placed itself on my waist. I was completely happy.

I suddenly saw a flash in my closed eyes. We were no longer in my room. We were in another house. It was a very familiar house, it felt like home. It was home, it was my home. It felt like ages since I've been there. It was a simple house, a bit out of style, but it was home. My home. It was like I was in a dream. It began to feel like I never left, I felt like any other day that I was living there. I was walking through the house, walking down the hall and nearing the kitchen and living room. I was nearly able to see inside the whole rooms and walk into one of them that I pleased, when I came so close it disappeared in a flash as fast as it had come and appeared to me.

I saw darkness now, realizing my eyes were closed I opened them. Where was I? It was like I just had awoken from a dream, but I couldn't remember the dream even though I was sure I just had it. I was still in Edwards arms kissing him. I gently pulled away and so did he. I looked around at my familiar room, for a second it wasn't familiar at all.

I rembered everything, what happened the past few days and before that. My vampire years but nothing before that like always. I remembered Edward kissing me but it was like I couldn't remember what just happened a second ago. Like I was missing something. Like when you were human and you awoke from your slumber but you couldn't rember anything about the minute you fell asleep.

Edward chuckled happily starring down at me. I smiled up a him completely happy too, but I couldn't get rid of that feeling. I couldn't remember what just had happened. I couldn't remember my dream.

"Are you done kissing me yet?" I joked.

He laughed. "No." He pecked me lightly on the lips. Then I felt us fly across the room. He had carried me from where we stood to the bed. He kissed be once more.

"Bella?" I herd someone call as the door opened. I opened my eyes after recognizing the voice. Me and Edward both looked at the door.

John Ryan stood there shocked and then his face turned from shock to complete anger and out raged. Edward growled at him.

I felt a stroke of hurt. Like a stinging from a stab. I felt horrible. What had I just done to my best friend? John Ryan growled and hissed back to Edward. Then Edward shifted me and pushed me behind him protectively.

_Oh no._ I thought. This wasn't going to be good.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!" John Ryan hissed.

"Then leave!" Edward hissed back. Then he got to his feet.

"John Ryan I-" He cut me off before I could finish.

"Save it." he retorted. Then he slammed the door.

I got up to go after him to do something to make him feel better. I felt his pain, and it hurt bad. It must been part of my power I guessed. I didn't like it. Edward followed after me. John Ryan was already outside heading towards the forest to get away.

"Wait!" I yelled.

When he turned and saw Edward still growling pulling me away from him, it didn't help. I sensed Edward was jealous and afraid of losing me. Edward had pushed me protectively behind him. That set John Ryan off.

"Get your hands off her!" He yelled.

"Make me!" Edward retorted.

They fell into a loud roar of growls and hisses. At that last comment pushed John Ryan off more.

Then I fell to complete shock when they both attacked.

_All Great!_

_**Thanks and shout out to…**_

_**zarma**_

_**.x **_

_**Twilightaholic1122**_

_**jacksp518**_

_**catylan **_

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_**nEthing4Edward**_

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…_**who have added my story to their favorite stories or story alerts or reviewed my story. You guys made me fell special, Thanks, I don't feel special often.**_

Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great!

Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!

Please Review.

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	4. Chapter 4

_All Great! _

And standing here being sarcastic wasn't going to help.

"Stop! I yelled. "Stop!"

But my pleading wasn't helping either.

I felt so stupid and useless, what the heck had I done? Although I never imagined that when I began to find out about my past life, I would end up falling in love. Or having John Ryan fall in love with _me_. Or the person I fell in love with _and_ John Ryan both breaking into a fight over _me_.

I never thought I would get any luck when taking the thin chance to figure out and would find out who I was and learn more about my human life or remember anything at all. I had hope someday I would remember my life but I still had doubt.

And I would never have imagined that the day it came that I would finally learn about my human life I was so curious about, would lead to all of _this_! I thought that day would be a happy day and me and my family would over joyce! But instead it brang all this drama I never wanted in my life, or attention. And now two people I loved were fighting because of _me_! And I had lost a mother in all of this, a person I loved, admired and looked up to all of a sudden felt like she had turned on me.

But I couldn't let all of these emotions spill out and have a break down in the middle of now! I quickly thought how I could stop them.

I herd a urgent familiar faint whisper in the back of my head, but I could hardly hear it. I couldn't focus what it was saying because the scene that was playing out at the moment in front of my eyes. Edward and John Ryan trying to bite and pull chunks of meat of each other, throwing each other around.

I tried to look away, to concentrate on what the voice was telling me, it was the only help I was getting right now, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. I was into much panic and shock to move. And its not like I could pull them of each other. Suddenly the voice grew louder, I listened.

_They love me._

They love me! What? Like that helped! I already knew that! How else would have I gotten into this mess! They were fighting because they loved me! Some help the voice was!

Then it hit me.

Of course! They loved me! If they loved me they would listen to me.

I approached them cautiously, then I let myself fall.

Just fall limply in between them, right in the middle of there vicious growls and attacks towards each other. I would be lucky if they didn't end up accidentally hurting me. I was a vampire, but our teeth still left scars.

I just hoped I would be lucky and be able to stand back up with no chunks missing.

And it worked. Just like I thought it would.

They immediately stopped the moment I fell between them. They spread apart, keeping a distance. They overlooked me, worried if I had gotten hurt in between there brawl. Alert was on both of their faces, their eyes in shock, almost ashamed if I had gotten hurt.

They were way over protective of me. They would stop if they thought I was in danger. And I was right, it worked. _Thank you. _I told my voice. And the silent whisper faded to the back of mind, it went silent going to sleep.

"_Are you crazy?" "What's wrong with you? Are you crazy or something?"_

They both yelled at me, realizing I hadn't been hurt.

I rolled my eyes.

They stopped fighting. Great. But now they were still both mad…at _me_!

_Great._

"_Bella, do you have any idea what could have happened to you?!" _Edward scowled at me, approaching me while gesturing his hand back behind him at the scene that had just played out. They both had uncroached from there positions of being ready to pounce, but had both froze when they thought of me being in danger.

I rolled my eyes and walked away. I couldn't believe they were upset with me.

I herd Edwards eager footsteps right behind me and John Ryan's not far behind.

I crossed my arms pouting. Then suddenly I saw Ellaynese eager worried face come from entering the front door.

"Bella!" She cried. She ran towards me and in a flash her hands were now around me tight. I saw more eager worried faces enter the door. It was my family, Alexisandrasis and Jayleren and the Cullen's flooding through the small hall that lead to the front door. I suddenly realized, the Cullen's are now my family too.

"Bella! Bella! Oh Bella what's wrong?! I'm here now! Its ok! Don't worry!" she cried. Her voice had me exiting my train of thought now.

I laughed calmly at mortified Ellaynese.

"I'm fine! don't worry."

She loosened her hold on me, prying her hands of me to take a good look at my expression. Her eyes studied my face.

"But I felt- I thought you were-" she stated confused.

She had sensed my distress earlier.

"I'm okay now." I reassured her.

Just then Alice swam her way through the crowd of vampires coming through the front door.

"What's wrong with you? What did you do Edward?" She demanded as she approached him stomping her little ballerina feet. She was in his face, but sill awfully short compared to him. He looked down at her bewildered.

"Calm down, Alice." He tried.

"I saw you! Did you have to go and make trouble? We were getting along fine with the Madison's, then I have a vision of you breaking into a fight with one of them?"

Edward rolled his eyes at his little sister. I didn't mean she was younger but she was little.

She was eager for our friendship, having another family of vampires around. I looked to the faces of my family. Which wasn't just the Madison's anymore but the Cullen's as well.

They were all confused and there emotions were alert. But they eased as they realized everything was fine now. Ellaynese and Alice had both had sensed something. Ellaynese with her power sensed my distress and her need to be around her love ones when they were in distress and Alice with whatever she did. I wondered now what her power was, and thought about what she meant just now about having a vision and seeing Edward fighting. How did she know? I starred at her as she still argued with Edward.

I looked back at all of my family. They were still at ease but confused. I wasn't at ease as they are, I was still afraid once we began explaining Edward and John Ryan would break into another fight.

I was still upset.

Edward looked at me. He could tell. He left behind his sisters arguing and came to ease my stress.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you."

I sighed and looked at my whole family still standing against the wall.

Wow. That was going to be a lot of Christmas shopping. I thought. And what about remembering all their birthdays?

Then I noticed I didn't see Victoria. My silent whisper awoke to inform me she had gone hunting separately from the others and she wasn't back yet.

Good. Because I didn't want to see her. That brought me back to my earlier thought of leaving. But I had no where to go.

I sighed again.

"I don't want to see her. I want to leave. But I don't where to go."

Edward stayed quite, I looked up to see his expression. He was smiling. He smiled at what I had said.

"You can stay with us."

I wasn't sure if that's what I wanted, it would upset John Ryan if I was living with them, only because I would be living with Edward.

"Besides you'll be having many questions to ask me. I still have to keep up my end of the deal, remember?"

He laughed.

"And also, we moved back to the same house that we lived in before, when you moved to Forks and met us." He had me at that. "Maybe you it will help you remember. "

I smiled. That was a definite yes and he knew it. Then I thought back to that memory I couldn't remember when I was kissing Edward. Like a dream I couldn't recall.

I looked to John Ryan. He was watching me. He was hurt that I was moving out. Alice then blocked my view if his sad face.

"Bella! Your coming to live with us?'

I nodded and smiled shyly.

"Yay!" She exclaimed and hugged me while jumping up and down in excitement.

I laughed at her excitement. Then I saw Ellaynese, Alexisandasis and Jyleren sad faces. And I didn't even want to see the face John Ryan held. I was scared to know.

As Alice let go of me I was about to go talk to my family about me leaving and comfort them when Edward wraped his arm around me holding me. I looked to John Ryan for his reaction hoping they would start again and knowing how to maybe stop them this time. But when I looked to see where he stood, he was gone.

"Do you need to pack your things? You don't have to take much, we can buy whatever you need, Alice will have fun decorating your room and probably taking you hostage to go buy you a whole new wardrobe. Wow, is she going to get over excited." He spoke.

I smiled. I was still very sad about leaving my family.

"Yay! Yes! Yes! We have to shopping now Bella!" Alice went on. I was about to speak to my family when Ellaynese couldn't take it anymore and beat me to it.

"Your leaving Persephone?!" She exclaimed deeply depressed. Jayleren and Alexisandrasis were now at my side with Jays hand rapped around Alexis shoulder.

"Your really leaving? Ah, common? Who am I goanna pick on all the time now? It wont be much fun not getting to pull pranks on you and make your mad all the time! Nothings funnier then the reactions on your face." Jay joked.

I smiled deviously at him.

"Don't worry, you'll have to keep your time free on concentrating on watching your back anyways, because I'll be back to get you back for you pranks. I wont be far, don't worry." I joked with him. We all laughed, but Ellaynese was still upset. I hugged her tight for a long time, knowing now it was she who needed my comfort and presence. Her eyes and hair darkened with her sad gloomy mood.

"Were still family, nothing will change that. Your still my best friend forever." _We_ could really say best friends forever since we would really probably live forever.

She smiled at that and said she'll be visiting me very soon. I was only moving houses not continents. And Forks was way small, we wouldn't be very from each other.

I had packed my bags and wondered how to take my piano with me. It was really the only one thing I wanted to take. I could just carry it to the Cullen's house. I was vampire, I had super speed and strength. It would be no problem. And I'm sure it would fit in my new room, it wasn't a grand piano or anything.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, picking up my packed bags and taking them to his car for me.

"Sure."

I sat patiently in the car waiting, I thought about school. I didn't want to go to school much anymore. I might have to resist asking Edward questions there since a human could over hear us a catch on to us.

Then I herd someone yelling, a familiar voice, but I didn't want to see her face just yet.

"Your taking my daughter now too? You might as well take my whole family! You already took my mate and now my daughter!"

I tried to ignore it, I didn't want to hear it. But I herd Edwards voice retorting back to her,

"You wanted to kill her! To avenge his murder and now you call her your daughter?!" he yelled.

I didn't want to hear this.

I jumped out of the car hoping they wouldn't start a fight right now too.

"Please hurry up, Edward." I called.

"Persephone, please forgive me…"

"Leave her alone." Edward said restrained, standing before me, cutting off my view of Victoria.

"Please listen to me…yes its true I did once want to kill you but I decided to keep you instead because…" She continued.

"I said…leave her alone!" Edward repeated, his voice rising.

"At least I didn't leave her alone to suffer, wishing for death!" She retorted to him.

She must have struck a nerve with him because he was now growling at her, ready to attack. And she growled back, ready to pounce. I was covering my ears wanting to hear no more. The anger was rising inside of me and I didn't like that she was growling at Edward.

"Stop!" I pleaded, my voice was low and restrained. But their growls seemed to rise in anticipation.

I couldn't take it!

"_Stop!" _I cried out loud, exclaiming by motioning my arms, throwing my hands apart. I herd the faint whisper come to life in my head, it was growing. I suddenly felt a force go through my hands as I was drowned in anger, and I herd windows shatter loudly around me. The noise made my anger grow thinking, one of them had already started the fight by throwing the other into a window.

My eyes flew open to see where the crash had come from. I didn't even realize my eyes had closed.

"Persephone!" I herd Ellaynese yell in terror.

I was shocked by what I saw.

They all stood there watching me in horror. Nether Edward or Victoria had attacked. They stood there frozen along with everyone else horror struck, big eyed, glaring at me. Edward stood there perfectly unhurt which soothe me. He had no expression, but he was just as confused as everyone.

I went horror struck too, realizing now.

No one had broken a window.

I didn't know how, but _I_ had just broken all of the windows in the house.

I

have some news, I've been trying to write a new chapter each day but I don't have much time so I will try to put in a new chapter every other day and on the weekends. I haven't had enough time lately to get some things done or to read other peoples stories on fan fiction like I used to. So I'm just going to try to put in a new chapter when I can.

And I do plan to start a new story soon so please check in on that.

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my story, added it to there favorites or story alerts. You guys are all awesome! Thanks so much for making me feel special!**_

Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great! Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!

Please Review.

**_*DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)_**


	5. Chapter 5

"Oopps…"

Was all I could think of to say after a moment of realizing what had just happened. I looked at Edward, happy once again to see he was fine and had not started a fight with Victoria.

I herd two people chuckle. I looked to see who it came from, the first face I saw laughing was Emeitt's, I think his name was, one of Edward's brothers. His amused expression did not seem strange, but it looked very familiar, as I have seen him laugh many times before even though this was the first time I saw him laugh and grin. For some reason it didn't seem surprising to see him laugh. Then I spotted Jayleren who also laughing at my small sarcasm at a moment like this. It wasn't surprising to find him laughing either. He always had a god sense of humor, even if it was a serious moment. I wouldn't be surprised if the world ended and he found a good joke to crack up about it.

Then I herd Ellaynese's familiar giggle. I could recognize her wind chime like giggle in a crowd of people. She began to laugh with Jay and when she began to laugh, her good emotion would spread to others around her. That was just her power.

Soon enough everyone began to laugh. Even the blond Cullen girl who scowled Emeitt for laughing was now laughing too.

I looked at Edward again, once again thanking God he had not fought with Victoria and was in no danger.

"Can we go now?" I asked. He smiled and I began to walk back to the car, careful not to step on chards of glass. It wasn't as if they would wound me, nothing could wound my skin, but I didn't want to have to walk around with a chard of glass stuck in my favorite shoes.

As I got into the car I knew Ellaynese saddened. As her good amusement fell so did everyone's around her who was affected by her power.

I looked towards her, her eyes dropped from me to the ground. I went back to hug her.

" I'm still going to see you everyday. Nothings going to stop us from visiting each other."

I said trying to comfort.

"And we live in the same small town of Forks for crying out loud! Were vampires and have super speed, it would take us just a few minutes to run to each others houses if wanted to see each other. And there is also a thing called phone now a days!"

"Your right, I being silly." She said smiling.

"Don't forget your still my best friend forever."

"Okay." she said.

I looked up at the windowless house.

"Sorry about the windows."

"Its okay, when John Ryan gets back he can pick them all up at once with his power. And well call someone to replace the windows."

_When John Ryan gets back, _I thought to myself. It saddened me to know I was hurting my best friend.

"Tell him I'm sorry when he does come back, and that he is still my best friend too."

"I will."

"He might be unhappy I left him this mess to clean up." I stated, looking back up at the house.

"He'll be happy to hear of your new power. And he wont have much trouble cleaning it up, with a snap of his fingers, the glass will put it self into the trash."

I laughed. "True, I envy his power at times."

She laughed too.

I finally let go of her, ending our hug.

"We'll see you soon Persephone." Alexisandrasis called.

I waved good bye to them all, ignoring Victoria. I wondered if she was in any way mad about the windows, my whisper answered my wondering. She wasn't mad at me for anything, but sad. She felt sorry.

Well I didn't care.

Edward wrapped his arm around me, smiling. I could tell he was happy I would be staying with them. It didn't take a _schizophrenic_ person who seemed to be right often, to tell he was happy I would be closer to him.

I rode in his car with all his siblings, surprised we all fit. His parents, who weren't really his parents, rode in the other car behind us. But they weren't really there parents, but they all saw them as there parents, as they saw them as there children. Just like how me and Victoria and me used to be.

I was starring out the window, when that train of thought came to my mind about the relationship between me and Victoria we had now. I didn't want to think about it, I turned away and looked to see what Edward and everyone else was doing.

They were all starring at me.

Especially Edward who still starred intensely at me, but with a smile.

"Shouldn't you keep your eyes on the road?"

They all laughed.

Jeez, just because we were vampires and had sharp eyes and reflexes didn't mean we still shouldn't watch the road as we drive.

"You haven't changed Bella."

Even though I badly wanted t ask what that meant, what story could have behind about me, I continued.

"I'm serious, you could hit a poor innocent squirrel."

They all laughed again at me.

"Bella, we still eat innocent deer and bear, but you feel bad for a squirrel?" They asked laughing.

"I don't like eating deer or bears, know I hate that movie Bambi for putting that thought into my head every time I'm hunting, I could be hunting someone's mom." I stated.

I was know looking out the window again. I turned to see there faces after no one answered anything after I spoke. They were starring at me, it looked like Emeitt was trying hard not to laugh though.

I looked back out the window again. It was going to be a long silent ride.

Once we got there I got out slowly looking at the big white story house. My mouth dropped.

Edward laughed at the look on my face.

"Big isn't it?'

"This is the house we almost moved into." I stated.

"Really?"

When we moved here we were going to but it but we decided on the other house because we wanted something smaller.

"You were the other family?" Stated Emeitt.

"When we moved back here to forks this summer, the house was already owned by a family, when they moved out we planned to buy it but the sales woman said someone was already planning to buy it." Explained Edward. "But then she called back saying the house was still open."

"Oh." I said.

The last time I was at this house I left in awe because there was something about the house. Then I remembered what Edward had said, it was the same house they lived in when I met there family. I probably recognized it, I just didn't realize it was so familiar.

"Hmmm" I said thoughtfully.

Edward looked at me impatient.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He answered.

"Will Alice had a good time redecorating the house. It only took her 2 days. And I bet she cant wait to take you shopping and start redecorating your room. Do you have any plans yet Alice?" Emeitt asked her.

She just passed us by walking into the house with her arms crossed pouting.

"What did I say?" He asked.

"Its not you, she's just mad at Bella." Edward said watching Alice's retreating figure, then turned to get my bags from his car.

I turned and faced him wide eyed waiting for him to explain. Alice seemed so nice and was barely the first day I had already offended someone in what I considered my new family.

"Ah! I thought I sensed jealousy in her…" Edwards other brother stated, getting lost in thought.

"What? Jealousy? Why is she mad at me?" I asked worried.

"Don't be offended, Bella." Edward reassured me. Jasper listened to him. "She is just mad because you called that other girl your best friend."

"Oh," I said, "but why would she be mad about that?"

"She considered you her best friend and her yours when you were still human."

"We were best friends?" I asked. I couldn't remember anything from my human life. And how strange, I knew about vampires before I was changed to one. that's something I would have never imagined either.

"I'm going to go talk to her." Edwards other brother stated. "I can feel she is really upset."

What did he mean _feel_? Did he have a power too? Was it like mine?

"No wonder she wasn't running her mouth the whole drive here, I thought she would be chattering more then usual now that Bella was back." Said the blond girl.

The second car arrived, and Edwards parents stepped out.

"Were going hunting, anyone one to come?" Said the older blond male one who acted as the leader of the Cullen vampire family.

They mostly all agreed.

"Bella would you like to come? Or would you rather stay and we can leave you in peace to settle in?"

"I'll stay here t unpack then I'll catch up."

"Okay then." he said. "there is a lot of catching up for all of us to do with you."

"Thank you for letting me stay with you." I said politely, I hadn't officially thanked them.

"Its our pleasure, sooner or later we would began to bug you for you to visit anyways." They laughed and looked at Edward.

" You know Alice and Esme would have been bugging her to visit us too." He said defending himself.

"Jasper, Alice, would you like to come hunting with us?" He spoke quietly as if they were standing right beside him. Bu sure enough they could hear us with our special hearing.

"Yes thank you, we will come along." Edwards brother, Jasper, answered from inside.

"Good." Said the older blond male.

"We wont be far be far, Bella. Just in the forest. It'll be easy to come find us when your ready to join us." He said.

"Thank you." I said. I really hadn't learned all there names and I which they had. I felt stupid not knowing there names. They all knew me but I couldn't remember any of them. I felt like a rude guest.

Edward took my bags inside to my room before I followed, the eldest female gave a me a tight hug. "I missed you and very glad you decided to live with us." She whispered warmly in my ear.

"Thank you." I said hugging her back.

I felt even worse because I didn't remember her or even know her name. I really which they had introduced them selves. I remember they tried but Alice had cut them of the first day they visited our house.

As I followed Edward inside I told him about my piano and wanting to go get it, when he said I could play his. I was surprised to hear he played.

"Oh! You play piano?" He put down one of my bags and gestured with his hand to the right.

My eyes followed to where he was pointing. I froze in my tracks.

There sat a lovely black grand piano. I didn't even notice it.

"I've had for a long while."

It seemed old fashioned but that's what gave it its charm and didn't look aged at all.

"It's a beautiful piano." I complemented. He stared at me for a moment then lead me to my room. It was on the third floor at the very end of the hall to the left. He put down my bags and said if I wished, he could go and retrieve my piano from home. I quickly said no, afraid him and Victoria would get into another argument. Then he left to leave me alone as I unpacked.

It didn't take me long, but before I started to unpack I gazed at the room. It was plain white and the back wall was made of glass and you could see the forest not far and the mountains in the near horizon. It was a small but wide, I really liked it.

I wondered for a while what I should do know. I didn't want to go hunting, I usually put it off as much as I could till I couldn't stand my thirst. I hated the thought of drinking blood. But the Cullen's were expecting me. I decided to just stay here and pretend to take long unpacking.

Then that brought me back to the thought of what to do know? So I decided to walk around the house. I didn't see it all when we came house hunting when we moved to Forks. I only saw the first floor and one of the rooms.

I opened my door cautiously and looked back and forth down the long narrow hallway. What was I doing? I was acting silly, there was nothing to be scared of.

Just a normal family of vampires who lived here. Will, they weren't normal, they were nicer then other vampires, they didn't drink from humans. This would have sounded scary if I was a human, but I was a vampire too, so what was there to be afraid off?

I walked down the hallway wondering what was in the other rooms, who lived in what room? I opened each closest door around me slightly and peeked in. Two of the rooms where empty and the other looked like an office. I walked down to the first floor and looked at the living room then looked around in the kitchen. They had a fridge and cupboards but it was all empty. They had pretty dishes that were never used.

"Huh" I said to myself, thinking. At our house we bought food even though we didn't eat human food, because we sometimes made human friends and had company so we bought normal things humans would. I went back upstairs and walked halfway down the second floor just because I hadn't visited that hallway yet, I opened one door and saw that it looked like a very professional office, it looked more than an office then the one upstairs.

I went back to my room walking as slow as possible, slower then a human. I was trying t take as much time possible. I stayed in my room for a while then walked up to the window deciding I couldn't put it off much longer.

I was about to jump outside from my bedroom wall window when I herd a light knock on the door and then someone opened it. How strange, I was surprised, I thought I was alone.

I was surprised to see Edwards face come from behind the door.

"I'm sorry was I interrupting you?"

"No, I-" I was having trouble speaking, he seemed to do that to me often, leaving me speechless.

"I was about to go join you all, where were you?"

" I was in my room waiting for you to finish, would you like an official tour of the house? I noticed you walked around earlier."

"Yeah, I was curious." I said embarrassed, being caught pondering around the house and stalling so I wouldn't have t go hunting.

" So do you still want to go hunting ? I can show you around the house later-"

"I can go hunting later." I cut him off, and was quick to decide no to go hunting.

I quickly approached him. He smiled eagerly.

"So did you recognize anything?"

"Not really, but the house did seem familiar to me."

"Oh." He said as he took my hand.

I took a deep breath in contentment.

He walked me around the house showing me each room and telling me who's it was. Turns out the small office was Esme's where she likes to make plans to remodel the house and Alice is the one to redecorate it with décor.

And the more professional office was Carlisle's, and since I only peeked in I didn't see that the whole wall was covered in pictures. Pretty much each picture had a story to it. He told me a few hoping for me to remember and a old wooden cross hanging in the hall, but none was familiar to me.

The last room he showed me was on the second floor to the left at the end of the hallway. It is right below my room. I was surprised to know it was his room. He asked me how I liked my room, I told him I loved it but it lacked a bed. He laughed.

"You're a vampire! What do you need a bed for? You don't sleep." then he laughed again.

I explained t him about how I liked to pretend I was asleep and turn my daydreams into night dreams and pretend I was dreaming. This really got him curious and he began to ask me many questions about my vampire years, where we lived before, and about my family.

I also told him a would wish my room had a balcony, I always loved it when my room had a balcony and then I which it had a little bit of color, I liked how it was white and peaceful but wish it was light blue, every time we moved around my room was painted light blue. I also told him how I wish I had my piano in there too. He had a thoughtful look on his face.

I began to ask him about his family and to tell him everything about them. I also told him I wasn't sure of what all there names were and felt bad so he apologized and we should took to consideration about my memory loss. We talked a lot, I liked hearing about his life and his family's. And we pretty much covered everything to know about him and his family.

That's when his family got back home from hunting. I was about to apologize when Edward beat me to it saying he was sorry for holding me up from dinner.

I headed to my room deciding it was time to _sleep_. Except I didn't have a bed to lay down on but there was lounging sofa so I laid down and began to create my own dreams.

That's when I herd a musical wind chime like laugh. I looked towards where it came from and that's when saw Ellayense gracefully jump of a tree branch and walk in through my window.

"Ellaynese!" I exclaimed happily.

"Hello Bella!"

I ran to hug her.

"I missed you and I remembered what you said so I came to visit."

"You called me Bella!"

"Will I sensed it when you didn't like it very will when we called you Persephone because that's what

Victoria called you. And besides we all knew when you figured out more about your life and your real name you would want to be called by your real name."

"Thank you." I said as I hugged her.

"Someone's not happy I'm here." She stated.

I thought for a moment.

"Its probably just Alice. She's jealous that you are my best friend."

"I'm not _jealous_!" I herd a beautiful but angry voice yell from downstairs.

Ellaynese looked at me surprised. I laughed.

"Don't worry Alice you're my best friend too."

"No I'm not!"

"Give her a break Alice, she lost her memory, what do you expect? She cant remember much." I herd someone tell her.

"Will I have to go." Ellaynese said letting go of me.

"What? Why? You just got here!"

"I know, but I should get back and try to make John Ryan feel better."

"Oh." Was all I said.

"I'll see you tomorrow at school though." She said smiling, giving me some good news to look forward to.

"Okay. Bye, I guess."

"Don't worry I'll see you soon." She said as she waved bye to me walking back towards the window and leaping out.

I laid back down on the longing sofa and tried dreaming again.

I imagined me and Edward walking together holding hands and him smiling his big beautiful smile, and every so often he would wrap his arm around me. Then I began to create a new dream where he leaned down and kissed me. I smiled at the thought of that. I began to remember when he kissed me in my bedroom. That made my smile wider.

Then I remembered that feeling, like I couldn't remember something, but I didn't know what. Then as tried hard to remember I recalled John Ryan's face and my dream turned into a nightmare.

I squinted my eyes hard trying not to remember how I hurt him. I couldn't take the thought of disappointing my best friend, so I decided to call it quits for trying to dream tonight.

The first face I saw when I flashed my eyes open surprised me. I didn't expect to see his face hovering over mine. He was starring intently at me. I liked it.

"Whoa." I said.

He stayed there for a moment and didn't move away. I was happy though, it didn't bother me. I began to wonder, then hope, he was going to kiss me again. Then he finally leaned away.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

I starred at his perfect face. I was still in a trance. He seemed to always do this to me.

"I remember what you said, that you try to dream and I got awfully curious and I couldn't help myself."

I kept starring at his beautiful face. I was completely content.

"Bella?" he seemed worried. "Are you okay?"

I took a moment to answer, treasuring my happiness.

"Yes."

"I swear, you are the strangest human I ever met."

My face fell. _Human?_

"Human?" I asked.

He looked at me funny.

"I meant vampire."

Then he laughed.

"You are the strangest human _and _vampire I ever met."

He stayed in amusement but I didn't know what that meant. Yes, he was not the first to call me strange, but I felt confused by his words.

"Human?" I said as I sat up. As I sat up he was very close to me but didn't move away. "I was strange as a human too?"

His amusement grew. "Very!"

"hmm…" I said thinking.

"What?" He asked.

"I just thought my life would be a lot more normal." I pondered some more. "but it was comply different then I would have thought. I was already running with vampires and before that I was already a strange person?"

He starred at me for a moment.

"It was my fault your life wasn't normal. I dragged you into this world and its my fault you're a vampire. And probably my fought you cant remember anything."

I wasn't sure what to think, but I knew I wasn't upset. I could never find it in me to be upset at him.

"I'm so sorry Bella for bringing you into this world, please forgive me."

"Of course I -"

He pulled me close to him. My mind went into confusion as always when he was so close to me. I couldn't resist.

"I'm so sorry Bella-" He began, his voice sounded tortured and sad and so very guilty.

I pressed my finger in his lips, not wanting to hear more of him in sadness.

"I forgive you." I whispered and then leaned in to kiss him.

He didn't hesitate to shut up and kissed me back. After a moment he reluctantly pulled away.

"I was trying to say I'm very sorry and that's this all my fault and-" he tried again.

"If your apologizing for me becoming a vampire, don't. Me being a vampire only means I get to be with you forever. And that's something to be thankful for."

"But-" he tried again.

This time I pulled _him_ closer. A kissed him once again_._

**Please Review.**

**I meant to update alot sooner, but i got a bit lazy and had writters block. thanks wor being patient=J**

***Disclaimer-i dont own Twilight. All rights to Stephanie Meyer.=) she is awsome!**


	6. Chapter 6

The next day we had to go to school. It was a bit awkward since the whole Edward vs. John Ryan incident.

Edward walked beside me all day trying to hold my attention as often as possible trying not to give me a chance to talk to John Ryan. The bell had barley rang, ending class, when he saw John Ryan coming our way he pretty much pushed me to my next class down the hall shoving me through the door beside him, into my next class like we were going to be late. It was all now becoming very childish. But I wasn't sure how to ease Edward. I wasn't sure how to tell him he was being over protective and awfully childish of the whole situation and should calm down.

My first period class was also a bit awkward.

It started out happy. The moment I walked in and saw Ellaynese we screamed and she ran to me and we hugged each other joyfully. We startled the few students who were already in class.

Alice just walked past us sighing dramatically loud. She was becoming restless that I had not yet apologized.

As she past us by Ellaynese looked back at her feeling her sadness. She eagerly greeted her and hugged her. Alice was happy at the warm greeting but it wasn't the attention of Ellaynese she wanted. It was my attention she wanted. But as Ellaynese hugged her, a strange face came over Alice. Her happy mood at Ellaynese friendliness and her smile faded into a focused stair and she froze. But as Ellaynese let go of her she exited her daydream like trance and smiled brightly at her, happier then before.

She looked at Ellaynese, almost seeming like she wanted to hug her a second time. I wondered what was with her a moment ago. I waited on my whisper to appear and shed some wisdom into my knowledge. And as I called it, it awoke. It informed me Alice had just had a vision. That was her power.

Alice looked at me and sighed and walked slowly and over dramatically sadly to her desk. Ellaynese and I followed her and took or seats in front of her.

I turned to Alice. She huffed and looked away.

"Alice your being silly." I spoke to her, giving her what she wanted. "You know you're my best friend too."

"How can I be when you don't even remember me?" She scuffed.

My jaw fell.

"I lost all of my memory! I don't remember _anything _about my past life! What do you expect of me?" She had hit a nerve. "And I think I feel a little bit more upset about it then you!"

Her mouth opened slightly at shock at my tone. Her hands uncrossed from where the were on her chest. Her pout turned to disbelief at my sudden burst of anger.

I turned around in my seat facing forward, crossing my arms. _Some best friend. _I thought.

Ellaynese stared at me. She had also been a little surprised at my burst of anger towards Alice, but she sensed my long sadness in me. She opened up her arms towards me. I looked away not wanting to be comforted. I was upset and pouting my way out of this. She hugged me anyways. I knew if I just smiled it would make Ellaynese happy and her happy mood would spread to me and I would instantly feel great and very joyful.

So I smiled a small smile to her and she smiled brightly and suddenly I was feeling overly happy. There was no resisting her power. I loved the happy vibe she sent through me.

She radiated joy. She was the sun at times in my dark cloud.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the wave of complete contentment flow over me and drown me. The only time I experienced anything better then this was when I was with Edward.

That over joyed me more. I was a cup of happiness about almost tipping over and over spilling.

"Bella?" I herd Alice's angelic voice say. My whisper spoke. I knew Alice was ashamed. She was no longer mad at me but in fear I was mad at her and had upset me. How ironic, wasn't that the position she had wanted me to be in just a moment ago?

"Yes Alice?"

She paused a moment. "Are you mad at me?" she sounded so much like a little child who had been scowled at.

I was deep in thought now about things that had just came into my attention.

"No Alice." I answered a bit late.

"I'm sorry Bella." She whined, quickly responding after I had spoke. I was building up my courage and rudeness to ask her a favor.

After I didn't respond back she continued to plead.

"Forgive me Bella. I'm sorry. I'm a bad best friend. I don't blame you for forgetting me. And I never did say good bye."

I was about to ask her when she said that. What did she mean when she said _And I never did say goodbye._ I didn't let my curiosity get the best of me this time. I stored it for later.

"Alice can you do me favor?"

"Anything Bella." she agreed all to quickly.

I looked around cautiously waiting for my senses to reassures me that no one was listening.

Alice looked around too, eager to be in on what seemed to be like a secret to her. She looked around sneaky, she seemed awfully like a top secret spy on a mission. A was a bit amusing.

Ellaynese listened in but formed a scene of looking casually, trying not draw attention to our conversation.

"Alice," I hesitated a bit. "Mmmhmm.." She reassured me to continue. "you can see the future right?"

"Yup." she said smiling.

"Will…Can you tell if I will ever remember anything about myself? And how? And why I even lost my memory in the first place? Or why I only remember that one song? Or… And if Edward…?"

She laughed. "Bella! You make e feel like one of those carnival fortune tellers. Like people expect them to know everything. I can only see what are the different possibilities of things that could happen. They change as you change your mind. I can't see the why's, the how's, or the past. I'm sorry."

I looked down. I guess I couldn't expect to get all my answers I wanted so easily.

"But I can I try to answer your first question. If I can see anything."

This brightened my mood automatically.

"Thank you Alice!" I said over joyed.

I waited and Ellaynese turned to face us over curiously, forgetting her mask of casualness.

She starred at me for a moment then spoke.

"I cant see anything if you don't make a decision Bella."

"Umm..I don't know what to make a decision about."

"Try hard on believing that you will somehow remember." that would be easy. I did have high hopes. But at times I still had doubts and worry's.

"You don't have a plan yet do you?" she asked. "I cant see anything yet till you make a decision."

I kind of had a plan. I was going to ask Edward bunch of questions hoping I would remember. That was all the plan I had.

"We can try later." I stated. Then I turned back around a bit depressed.

"Your planning to spend more time with Edward?" She asked after a moment. I felt a bit embarrassed. Of course I planned t spend a lot of time with him. It was obvious to me that I loved him. I just realized that.

I love Edward.

I smiled happily.

And I'm sure he loved me back.

"Yes." I said in contentment.

I think something had changed and I am sure you will remember."

"Really?" I said excitedly.

"I'm sure even if things change, in the end you will still have all of forever to try to remember." She giggled a it.

"Yay! Alice!, Thank you!" I said as I jumped out of my seat and hugged her.

I herd my whisper say something in the back of mind. Something was bugging Alice. But it had disappeared the moment I hugged her and she saw my excitedness giving her attention.

I studied her face. "What's wrong Alice?" I asked.

She was surprised at my knowledge.

"Nothing, its just that-"

She hesitated and I stared at her in awe. The silent voice awoke in the back of my head.

"Alice." I said alarmed. "You don't know anything about your past life. You don't remember anything, d you?"

Her mouth dropped in shock, she was surprised at how I knew.

"Is that something you remember from your past life?" she said "What else can you remember?"

I looked down. 'I haven't really remembered anything." I said it bit gloomy. "I just know things-"

"Hasn't she told you she is schizophrenic?" Ellaynese giggled from her chair.

"Oh Right." Said Alice. She stayed quiet a moment thinking, about to ask me something.

"Bella? How many powers do you have?" she asked curiously. "You can hear things and you can break windows?" she asked amazed.

I laughed but it wasn't with amusement. I had no clue what happened that day. Or how that happened. I was just mad and a felt a weird feeling go through me and all the windows just shattered. Was it my emotions that caused that?

"Yeah, what was that Persephone?" Ellaynese asked. "Is that something from your power?"

"uh…I don't know. It scared me though."

"You were scared? I was scared. I didn't know what the heck had just happened!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how I did it. It just happened."

"Will after you left, everyone was sure impressed."

"Yeah, I bet they were." Alice spoke.

The day went on the same, Edward never leaving my side, Alice chattering to me every chance she got, she was happy to have her best friend back. And John Ryan never looked my way. And when he did, he through glares. I felt ashamed and guilty every time. I couldn't help but to look down, I couldn't meet his accusing eyes.

At lunch, things were awkward. I had just gotten my lunch about to follow Edward when I noticed my family sitting at another table across the room. When they saw me, they waved hi eagerly and expected me to sit with them. John Ryan spotted me and he smiled. Brightened, he believing I would sit with them.

Then I saw Edward pulling out my chair waiting for me to walk over to him and sit down. I felt like I was tied in a knot and people were pulling at each end of the rope.

Edward began to notice my hesitation. Then both sides of my family realized what was wrong. I wasn't sure what to do next.

Then I saw Ellaynese stroll past me like nothing and headed to the Cullen's table and plotted her self down next to Alice and began to eagerly talking to her like she had known her since forever. Then she looked around for her family, then waved at them to come over once she had spotted them. They all hesitated at first, especially John Ryan. But then they walked over with there trays and they all put to tables together. I smiled brightly when they walked past me.

They stared at me for a moment then smiled. I went over to the newly formed table happily that it turned out wonderfully.

But when I sat myself next to Edward and looked up, everyone was starring at me.

"So Bella," Jay interrupted. "It looks like she hesitated there a moment." he laughed. I looked down ashamed.

"So who's table would have you picked?"

They all waited for an answer.

"Will of course she would have picked the Cullen's." John Ryan sneered. He was upset that I hesitated and his happiness had faded. He wanted things to back to normal like they were before the Cullen's had came and stole me.

That scared me. I was happy I had them in my life and it would kill me if things went back to normal, and the Cullen's left. I wanted them to never leave, especially Edward. But I did want things to be normal, I wanted this awkwardness to end. I wanted all of them to just get along. And John Ryan was ruining it with his attitude and Jay with his embarrassing awkward question.

Before I could answer with an apology, Alice answered.

"She would have made us sit together or she would pout and just sit alone. Then Edward would have followed her, and then Ellaynese and me would have too. Then Jasper would have sat with us to follow me. Then everyone would just follow each other and we would have all ended up sitting together either way." Alice spoke causally, while looking down at her bagel, poking at it with her fork.

I almost smiled because the future seemed to show a sign either way that we would all get along. Before I could smile I waited approval from all of them that they were not upset at me after knowing what the future would had held either way.

"How would you know?" Jay asked with attitude. Did he have to start?

Alice lifted her eyes of her bagel where she had just stabbed it with her fork. She looked up at who had questioned her ability.

"I see things based on what people would decide." She spoke calmly.

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. " What car am I planning to buy next?" He asked.

"I don't know. I haven't seen you decide on a car because you haven't decided if you really want to buy a new car." she answered.

"Oh." he said. His question had turned into a trick question and it only turned on him.

"Like I said, I can only see things based on the decisions you make. I see the outcomes of the different choices you have in mind as you change your mind."

She paused for a moment.

"You seem to be favoring on not buying a new car cause I see you often looking for a new faster engines."

"Yeah your right," he said. "I rather put in a faster engine then buy a new car. I really like our car, I just want it to go faster." He looked at Alice. "Okay then I believe you. Your good." he said pointing at her with his fork. She smiled at his complement. I was glad to see them getting along.

Before Alice continued poking at her bagel she warned him.

"You might want to get a professional to check out the car after you put in the engine yourself, something in the outcomes of you putting in the engine yourself tells me your not that great of a mechanic." They laughed.

"Its true, I can manage with cars better then you can." Alexisandrasis teased. They all laughed again.

"Yeah, even Persephone can probably do that for you with out screwing something up." Ellaynese teased.

They laughed again, but I didn't. She made it sound like something bad. Like saying a bear could build something better the n a man with thumbs.

"What do you mean by _that_?" I asked her.

"Nothing its just that-" She tried to explain.

Jay and Emeitt started to laugh.

"What are you saying?" I asked in chagrin.

"Bella, I think you've noticed that your not exactly the best at things. You seem to always mess up, you don't exactly have the best luck." Ellaynese explained.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Remember that one year when we had invited the neighbors for dinner and you tried making a big dinner and almost burned down the neighborhood?" Alexisandrasis stated.

All of the Cullen's chuckled, especially Emeitt. Edward looked down at me with questioning eyes.

I was quick to defend myself. "I did _not_ almost burn the _whole _neighborhood!"

"Right." Jayleren answered. "Just the surrounding houses." He joked, truthfully.

I leaned back in my chair in defeat.

"Or that one time…" Ellaynese continued.

"Ok! I get the point! I screw up sometimes. So what?"

"Sometimes?" Jayleren interrupted.

"I said I get the point!"

Emeitt seemed he couldn't hide his amusement any longer and burst out laughing.

I scowled at him. "What?"

"Its that you weren't exactly have the best luck as a human either." Edward answered my wondering.

"Shocker." Jayleren mumbled.

"I herd that!" I complained.

_Great. _I was a screw up as a human too? This was _not _good news.

"You weren't exactly very graceful either. You were a bad luck magnet." Edward continued.

"How bad?" I asked slumping deeper down into my chair.

"I believe you had the worst luck possible." He said. "You fell in love with a vampire who was also in love with you and in love with the smell of your blood." he spoke this with a bit of old hurt in his eyes but at the same time complete satisfaction. I smiled at seeing him flash a beautiful smile at me.

"That doesn't sound so bad." I said. I don't think I would ever see me falling in love with him bad luck. John Ryan didn't seem to like the turn of the conversation.

"That was another problem…you never seemed to understand the dangers you were in." He said.

"So Bella became the clumsiest vampire ever?" Emeitt said amused.

" I guess clumsy is kind of a word for her little miss haves." Ellaynese spoke.

I quickly wanted to change the conversation. That's when the bell rang. Thank God!

As we walked out of the cafeteria, Edward went to throw his and my trays. And for the slightest moment he left my side John Ryan came up to speak to me.

"I think we need to talk" He said starring straight ahead at the sidewalk beside the cafeteria instead of me. I can tell he was trying to focus.

I didn't say anything for a moment. I was in panic. But I quickly pulled myself together trying not to over react. Jasper looked back at me as he walked with Alice, hand in hand.

John Ryan had turned to study my face after I had not answered him back quickly. I feared the look in his eyes.

"Yes, I guess we do." He looked back at a incoming Edward.

"I guess you prefer later when your not preoccupied with his presence and company." He gave me one last longing look then walked away.

Edward quickly took my hand. He watched John Ryan's retreating back with a hard eyes and a intense glare. Then he wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer and holding on tight. Hen he looked down at me. I could tell he was upset.

"I don't know why your worried." I stated.

"How do you know I'm worried?" He challenged.

"Its easy to read in your eyes, I don't need a little voice inside my head to tall me it." I said looking away. "I'm just not sure what you are worried about. I know you would be upset to see John Ryan around me but I have no clue why you would ever be worried."

I looked up at him after he stayed quiet and never responded.

He starred down at me, wonder in his eyes.

"A little voice?" He asked.

I pointed at my head. "I'm schizophrenic. Remember? I hear little voices in my head." I said looking away.

He didn't respond. I looked back up at him.

"You never really told me about your powers." He stated.

" I thought I had filled you in already this morning when I talked to Alice this morning." I said.

"He would you telling Alice have filled me in?" He asked.

"Oh, like I didn't know you were listening." I said. He laughed.

"How did you know I've been listening in on your conversations?"

"My voice told me." I answered him.

"Tell me more about that." he continued.

"Okay. If you tell me about what you can do. I know you have some kind of power but I don't know what it is."

"Did your voice tell you that too?"

"Yes but I had already realized how you seem to answer peoples questions or something when they never said anything."

"You always did notice to much too." he instantly sparked my curiosity.

I looked at him quickly. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Go on…" I said eagerly, I wanted to hear more about myself. I know that sounded conceded but I don't know anything about myself.

"I want to hear about your powers" he said. I noticed how he said powers, rather then just power. I guess he also wanted to know more about how I broke all the windows.

" I don't really know much about what I can do." I said. "I just sense things."

"You hear voices he asked?"

"Not voices. Just a voice. Its like a little whisper in the back of my mind."

He waited for me to continue.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I still want to hear more about your little voice." he said. "You have me curious."

"What do you want to know?"

"You just hear a little voice talk to you and tell you everything?"

"It doesn't talk to me exactly. I just hear a silent whisper sometimes and I can just tell what its saying. Sometimes its hard to hear it or understand what its saying or trying to tell me. It sometimes warns me and my family finds it useful. They sometimes rely on what it warns me about."

"So the voice can help t\you break windows too?"

I laughed.

"I don't know how _that_ happened. I didn't realize at first _I_ had done that, because I didn't know I _could_ do that." I said.

"You don't know yet what you can do. You don't know much about your power?"

"Nope." I started to think about this more. What _was_ my power? I hear things and I can break windows with my mind when I'm mad _too_?

"So what about you?" I asked again.

He hesitated a bit. "I had told you what I could do but you cant remember can you? You cant remember anything?"

"Nope." I sad sadly.

"I wonder if you could guess. You kind of guessed when you were human and you guessed right."

I thought hard, trying to remember. Something I've done a million times before. And just like a million times before I couldn't remember anything. Except for that song playing in my head.

"Are you using your sense? That's not fair if you just let your little voice tell you."

"I'm not."

He looked at me trying to tell if I was lying.

"I'm trying to remember but I cant."

"And you cant tell the voice to just tell you?"

"It doesn't work like that, I think. I never really tried t force it to tell me." After he gave me the idea, I did try. I herd the faint whisper but didn't her what it was saying.

"You have never tried?"

"I never gave much thought to what my power does, I was always to preoccupied trying to remember who I was. At first when I would hear the voice, it scared me. It was like it was screaming at me, but I couldn't hear it because it was still a faint whisper. It was screaming so much at me I thought I was crazy. When I told my family they thought it was amazing. I didn't care much though. I just wished it would shut up sometimes. Since it never helped me to remember anything about me, I didn't really care about it."

He hesitated, then looked at me intensely. "What- Bella,…The change… what do you remember about it?"

At first I didn't know what he was asking then I realized he was talking about the vampire change.

"You mean changing into a vampire?" I asked. He seemed shocked how I could talk about it so easily. Then I remembered we were at school and I shouldn't talk about it very loudly. I silenced my voice as I spoke.

"I remember waking up really sore, like I had a really bad dream and I had been in a lot of pain. And when I was opening my eyes from the darkness, I thought I was a dream, then when I could see, it was like seeing for the first time. Everything looked so clear. I remember seeing blue an white. It looked so beautiful. I wasn't sure where I was or what was going on. A thousand possibilities where running through my mind. And there where a lot of things in the back of my mind were growing. I didn't know what was happening or where I was. I realized I could hear music and a whisper telling me bunch of things all at once and it was a faint whisper that was growing louder and louder really quick. And I couldn't listen to the song. Then my panic hiked, because I realized I couldn't _remember_! I couldn't _remember_! It was a horrible feeling. Then I realized I wasn't moving. I was on the ground and it was the sky I was looking at. And I was afraid to move. I was really dizzy. Then the last thing that I finally realized was a felt a need for something. But I didn't know what. I was thirsty and I didn't know I was. There was a lot of things missing. I was scared stiff." I stopped. Thinking about it was scary but that wasn't why I stopped. It was because it was all so confusing. I didn't, I couldn't remember the rest of the story. I started feeling all dizzy again as I remembered this.

"After that part all I could remember was living with _Victoria _and the rest of my family and moving around from place to place through the years. I couldn't remember anything before that." I finally finished.

"You don't?" he asked.

"I just realized that I don't remember meeting Victoria or…" I began kind of began to remember becoming friends with Ellaynese but that was it. I was confused and I even felt dizzy. Where vampires suppose to feel dizzy? This scared me. I looked at Edward. He seemed to be frustrated . Many emotions seemed to be running through him. Anger one of them. Seeing his face seemed to calm me. I almost forgot what we were talking about. I smiled with out even thinking to. He was looking down at me. Then he smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said. Then he leaned down and kissed me sweetly. And I thought I felt dizzy before, now my head was spinning. Then I herd a noise in the back ground I hardly noticed. But as Edwards lips pulled away slowly and unwillingly, the noise got louder and I realized it was the bell ringing. I finally tore my eyes of his face to see where I was. I realized two things. That I was smiling like an idiot at him and I was standing outside my next class.

I hoped no one had seen much of my and his personal moment. Before Edward walked away he leaned down and kissed me once more. When he stopped, he chuckled at my unwillingness to let go of him. Then he turned around and walked away.

As I turned to face the door completely content, I realized which class it was. I opened the door, to see John Ryan already sitting at our table, starring at the door where he could easily see through the little winnow on the door.

_Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. This does take a lot of time and I got lazy about it. I didn't write as much as I wanted to, but I felt I was taking to long to update. So I hope you enjoy this chapter and I will update as soon as possible. Like I said this does take a lot of time from me since I'm a slow typer. And I haven't had much time to read other fan fiction stories, like I like to do, much anymore either. So I hope no one is mad at me or anything for taking a long time to update._

Please Review. Grade my story from a 1-5 scale. 1 being not good. And 5 being very good, awesome, wonderful, unique, Great!

Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


	7. Chapter 7

His eyes starred directly at my face, never leaving my direction. There were so many emotions in them and I could no longer turn away from him now. I had to finally answer the questions and accusations in his eyes. There was no mre avoiding them, I had to heal the pain I saw in them somehow.

I took my seat beside him with my mission for today in this class the first thing on my mind and to do list. To stop yhe hurt I was causing John Ryan.

"Hello." I said. Trying to ressit the erge to look down and tear away from his gaze.

His look lingered for a moment longer on my face before answering.

"Hello." He said with a weak smile. There might have been a smile on his face but there was none in his eyes.

"How are you?" I said hesitatingly.

"Fine." he said. Looking down, I sighed in relief, finally being released by his cold stair.

He looked away trying to hide his emotions. It wasn't very convincing.

I took a moment to find the right words to say. I could only think of two words that I should most surely start of with.

"I'm sorry." I finally said. It sounded less strong then I imagined. It was a weak low utter.

"For what?" He said with an edge in his voice. His eyes flashed back to my face, piercing it again.

"For…" I wasn't sure how to explain. Or what I was really apologizing for. I wasn't sure how to put it in words. I guess I was sorry for picking Edward over him and hurting him, even though I wasn't really sorry for picking Edward, I was only sorry for hurting him. But how I would I tell him that with out hurting him? How _could _I? It was only going to hurt him more.

But he saw right through me.

"Bella, you don't even know what your sorry for." He said angrily, looking away. "Your not even sorry." He said.

That hurt. I wanted to discard his words, say he was wrong, but that would be untruthful.

"I am sorry." I said trying.

"You only feel bad. You really don't care."

That hit a nerve.

"Of course I care!" He was blind. He was letting his anger blind him. "I do care for you and I am sorry! Sorry for hurting you and I'm sorry how you could believe I don't love you."

He flinched at the last words. I was using them differently then he was feeling them.

I loved him, but not as much or the way he loved me. At one time I thought I did, but I had taken it back. And John Ryan had to except the rejection, but now he was rejecting me. He believed I didn't love him in anyway. I did love him, just not as strong, only as a friend. And now I had to face the of losing my best friend if I didn't fix this soon. I didn't want to go through the rest of life with out John Ryan.

"But you aren't sorry, not really. You chose him, you only feel guilty. But your not sorry." He replied.

"No, I'm not sorry for choosing him. And I do feel guilty. I feel guilty, and sick, and like an idiot. Because I'm almost losing you from my life. I do love you and I feel sick for hurting you. I don't want to lose you. I feel closer to you then a best friend and a brother but not in the way you feel about me. And I'm sorry its not that way. But I wouldn't be able to stand not being around you. Not having you near me, so please forgive me. Say you still want to be with me too. That your still my best friend and you wont hate me or avoid me? Please forgive me?"

I finally finished pleading. My heart felt like a piece was being torn. Like soon a piece of it would be gone. It feared at the pain that would bring. All if John Ryan decided to leave me. To not forgive me and hate me and avoid me.

I waited anxiously and in anguish.

He studied my face some more. Searching for what, I did not know. But whatever he saw in my expression made him guilty, forgiving, and determined. But I wasn't sure determined of what.

"I love you." He solemnly stated starring into my eyes. It hurt to hear that from him. Because I knew he meant the way I could not mean back. "I will not avoid or ever could hate you. I forgive you Persephone- I mean Bella." he corrected and then smiled.

I couldn't help but to smile back. "Thank you." I said. Then I saw something in his eyes as he smiled brightly. My senses told me that he was not giving up. He was determined. I feared at what he was planning behind those eyes. I guess I could only wait t find out.

Class soon ended and headed to the door eagerly. John Ryan was collecting his books and was coming behind me. He was still in a god mood after spending the class talking and laughing and enjoying each others company. But that was soon cut short when Edward appeared at the door for me before John Ryan could catch up. I could feel the hidden tension between them. Edward greeted me happily then throwing a quick glare towards John Ryan before looking back at me trying to hide his eagerness to leave. I looked back at John Ryan his happy mood seemed to be gone and he eyes was on Edward.

"Are you ready to go?" Edward asked calling my attention he was not hiding his eagerness to leave well. I looked back to John Ryan preparing to say good bye, I was in a sad mood knowing his happiness had disappeared and was now saddened once again which pained me. But then his smile quickly returned just as it had gone. And the hint of something in his eyes reappeared. Determination.

"Good Bye Bella. Ill see you later. He said as he exited the door. "Goodbye." I said in a content tone, but I was suspicious, I knew soon things would change.

"Hello Edward." He said casually and friendly to Edward as he passed him. Edward nodded at him politely, if you really could call it polite since he was full with dislike even though he tried to hide his bad mood of John Ryan's presence.

He stared at him a moment longer as he walked away then looked back at me brightly waiting for my answer.

"Yes, I'm ready to leave." As we walked away to the car I wondered how much longer this would last. I knew something was coming and they would both pull of there faces of calm and friendliness towards each other would soon fade and break into something. I knew John Ryan was going to do something to cause it.

I felt Edwards arm wrap around me protectively. As if he knew it too.

When we arrived home, plans had already been made to go hunting tonight. I quickly tensed and try to think up a way to get out of it. Alice was strangly quiet. When we got home…home, it was the Cullen's house but know I was already calling it home because that was what it was to me now. It warmed me inside to see this house as my home. As I walked to my room dwelling happily at the thought of considering this my home, placing my binder and books down on the table when I noticed a bright orange flowers in a vase on the table from the corner of my eye. I was surprised to see those here wondering where they had come from. Then as I turned to get a better look at them, I realized my whole room was full of vases of flowers. I was utterly shocked and almost didn't notice the sheet of flowers that covered my room. You could hardly see anything else in my room because it was covered up by all the colorful flowers. Like a sheet of them had been thrown over the room. My bedroom had turned into a garden. Then I noticed a small envelope hiding in the orange flowers. I opened it and was surprised to see John Ryan's handwritting. I did not recognize it at first until I saw his name signed at the bottom. It didn't say much but at the same time it said a lot. Espically the last three words at the end. I wasn't sure what to think.

Then Edward entered my now garden bedroom. He didn't seem surprised. He must of known. I waited for his response or a reaction from his expression. When his eyes landed on me as waiting for the same thing.

"John Ryan sent me flowers." I wasn't sure what else to say but I just wanted to break the silence.

He finally spoke. "That was nice of him." he sounded restrained and I could tell it took him a lot of effort to say the words.

"I should probably thank him." I said looking down at the letter. Then I regretted continuing the conversation knowing it would only push his anger,

"I'll call him later." Then I took Edwards hand. He smiled at the thought knowing we would spend time together. I was walking out of the room tugging at him behind me but he didn't budge. I looked up at him to see what was wrong. A longing look and old pain seemed to cloud his eyes. Then he kissed me, at first urgently but then it turned more sweet. After a moment he pulled away.

He was afraid. I knew it. He was afraid of losing me. Then I quickly laughed at the thought in my mind. He didn't know how impossible that was. I could never leave him. It would feel like losing air. Will…actually vampires didn't need air but it was a good comparison. Not strong enough but to lose him, it would be like losing the air in your lungs. I shuttered at the thought.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing."

We were know outside sitting in the grass. I was still shooken at the thought of ever losing him. I got closer to him and leaned my head on his chest. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment.

"Its time to go hunting." Alice's voice interrupted my happy moment with Edward. We had been talking for a while he was telling me about my past life. I had asked him so many questions. And I had forgotten completely about making an excuse to not go. I felt like I hadn't had enough time with Edward.

I looked up to see his eyes were on my face thoughtfully.

"Do you want to stay here?" I asked. But that was a stupid question, I coulsd tell he needed to hunt by the dark shade of his eyes.

"You can spemd time later. Lets go." ALice said waiting for us to move. She had guessed at my reluctance to lose time with Edward.

"ill catch up with you all later. Okay? I think Ill go see what Ellaynese is up too." I said. Edwards eyes widened. I guess he didn't like the idea of spending time away from each other either.

"Do you want me to come with you?" he quickly asked. I wanted badly to say yes but I knew he needed to eat.

"No its okay. You go. You need to eat."

"But so do you."

"Don't worry I will haunt later. Besides Ellaynese is very inpatient and is expecting me to visit her soon. She is probably already on deciding to come visit me instead. So I guess I better go before she throws a fit" I said.

He looked at me suspiciously. I was hopping he wasn't on to me, probably worried about me visiting John Ryan.

"Come on Edward!" Alice whinned.

He kissed me, said good bye and then left.

I quickly ran out of sight and called Ellaynese once I wasout of hearing range. She was overly excited hearing my voice. I told her to meet me not to far from her house. She over eagerly agreed. She knew the reason why I didn't want to go to her house but wondered if it was also because of John Ryan. Mostly it was because I wanted to avoid Victoria.

We talked for a long time, playing in the woods. I told her about today, the feeling something bad was going to happen between the Edward and Jphn Ryan and about the flowers. It felt good to talk to Ellaynese. I enjoyed our time. I only hated it when she she brung up her suspicions about me avoiding John Ryan and her fear I would stop talking to them because of victoria and would love my new family members more. She was afraid we would drift apart. I assured her everything would be fine. She still want quite happy. Then soon when she brang the suggestion to hunt, cut our tie short. I hastly declined and told her to go with out me and I would see her later.

I sat in a tree branch alone. Enjoying the time alone. It never bothered me. But now it soon began to because my mind would drift to Edward.

I thought about aloyt of things. I tried to clear my head of my delimas.

Problem One: John Ryan

…I had no clue what to do about that. Him not giving up. I had no clue what to do about the situation but to swell in the guilt. I only came up with being prepared to keep the peace when the fight did break out.

Problem Two: Ellaynese Worry

Because she was worried this became a problem to me. Not only was she my friend but my sister. Her concerns were my problems. She was worried we would drift apart. That was east to fix. I would just visit more often. I hadn't seen Alexsandrasis and Jayleren in a while and was probably hurting them for not visiting. So before I do visit I would just have to call first to see if Victoria is not there so I could avoid her. I didn't plan on forgiving her anytime soon or putting up with that situation. Then I thought back to John Ryan. Would I end up avoiding him too since I wasn't sure was else to do about him?

Problem Three: Hunting and My Thirst

My thirst was growing and this problem kept coming forward to the front of y head. I was having trouble trying to keep it at the back of my mind. I knew soon I would have to hunt. Once again I found myself cursing a Disney Movie. I couldn't eat a dear with out thinking it was someones mother and I was letting a poor baby deer left as an orphan. And I couldn't eat a deer with out thinking I was eating someones child or father, or friend, and grandma, or whatever. I tried to mostly ea bears and mountain lions. Cartoon Movies had me believing this where the bad guys. They where the villains at times in the movies. Will they were in the movies. But I still couldn't eat them too with out feeling guilty for ending there life. Why didn't they deserve a second chance? They could change from bad to good couldn't they?

I shook the thought from my head and finally got the courage to catch a bear and mountaion lion. Then I headed home guilty all the way. I kept feeling bad for ending the creatures life. _Grow a back bone Bella!_ I thought but I still felt bad for the creatures.

On my way home, walking slowy almost at a human pace I spotted a tall figure leaning against a tree in my path. I picked my head to see it was Edward. I smiled. I quickly ran to hug him.

"How was your hunt?" he asked.

"Fine." I said hpping it would be the end of that topic.

"After I finished hunting I came to look for you." He stated.

"Oh." was all I could find to say.

"I found your sent and traced it."

I looked up at him curious to see where he was going with this conversation..

"I found you hunting."

I waited in silence for him to finish. I wished he wouldn't ask but I knew he was going to.

"I decided not tobother you but to watch. And I swear I herd you say sorry before killing that bear." he said smug with a smile on his face and began to laugh. He looked at me for an answer.

"Yeah and?" I said.

Then I saw you hunt that mountain lion. You seemed so reluctant, I thought you needed help. I was about to when I herd you say sorry again. He laughed some more.

I felt the guilt again. And I felt embarrassment at being caught feeling guilty.

"Whats wrong?" he asked seeing my perplexed expression.

"Nothing." I said then I quickly tried to turn the conversation. "Hey! Want to race home? I'll race you, bet I could beat you." it was only about six mor miles but I needed a change of conversation.

He starred at me for a moment trying to tell what was wrong. He knew I was hiding something.

Then I took of. Leaving him behind. I was about there, about to win, when he passed me buy with no effort at all.

I rushed and quickly sped up. But he reached the door before I could. There was no one hme I could hear the empyiness in the house. They must still be hunting.

He studied my face then slowy approached me. He put his hand on my chek and caressed my face in his palm. He looked into my eyes before speaking.

"Bella. Whats wrong?"

"Nothing. I-" I didn't know what to say.

Sorry. I didn't finish. I just felt like it was about time I posted something. Sorry its not to exciting. I feel ashamed. Thanks for reading=) I promise to try to post soon and a better chapter too. Longer too.

Let me know what you think and any corrections or things I should clear up. And things I should improve on but try to be nice please and tell me politely. Thanks for taking the time to read this and my story!

***DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS. STEPHANIE MEYER OWNS THE STORY. (SHE ROCKS! =D)**


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